Did you know that A Tale of Two Cities was originally serialised in two regional newspapers?

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

Cr: Can't remember

He did pretty much invent serialising novels didn't he?

I live in a cashless society because no one around our way has got any f**king money.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 13th October 2023, 9:20 PM

I live in a cashless society because no one around our way has got any f**king money.

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What about Liverpool FC?

Every Christmas dinner we set a place for Monica and Joey, they never show up. But at least we get to remember absent Friends.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 13th October 2023, 9:41 PM

Every Christmas dinner we set a place for Monica and Joey, they never show up. But at least we get to remember absent Friends.

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Sorry I don't understand that (because I've never watched it)

Never watched what?

Teddy you seem to have a heckler

Have you tried telling him to f**k off?

🤔

I'm not surprised my jokes are awful.

Say what you want about poached eggs but they're cheaper than buying them.

GET OFF, YOU'RE RUBBISH!!!!

I know , I've never been able to write jokes.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 13th October 2023, 4:41 PM

Courtesy of pun gag-meister Tim Vine :-

When was the last time you ate rice pudding?

Can't remember? That's cos you're suffering from Ambrosia.

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I answered the knock on my front door, and it was yet another bloke saying he wanted to talk to me about my carpets.............

Bloody nuisance those Jehoover Witnesses

not bad but imho it would work better if you said they wanted to watch you clean your carpets. Not that I'm any good at writing puns I just think it scans vbetter

The operative phrase is "talk to me about", which is what JH people do when they say they want to talk to you about God, not watch.