British Comedy Guide

FAKING NEWS Page 8

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Wednesday 17th February 2021, 8:58pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

Researchers want to add Diarrhoea to the existing three symptoms which trigger a covid test.
Health Secretary Matt Hancock said. "If you have a cough, fever, loss of smell and a turd, please wear a nappy to stop the spread."

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 21st February 2021, 9:01pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

Last week burning debris fell from a Boeing jet and landed in a residential area near Denver, Colorado.
A woman shouted to her neighbour. "Michelle, there's an engine on your back yard," and Michelle replied. "Is he a Sioux or Cherokee?"

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 21st February 2021, 10:24pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

On Saturday, organisers of a church meet-up in Nottingham heard from God. "Be fruitful and increase in numbers and fill the carpark," and an even bigger God, Insp James Walker said. "Thy shall be struck down with a £10,000 fine."

'Early Data' is showing a reduction in transmissions in people who have had a coronavirus vaccination. Health secretary Matt Hancock said. "This is very disappointing and worrying for my friends and Tory Party donors."

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Thursday 4th March 2021, 9:43am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

Unable to be in mission control due to Covid Professor Sanjeev Gupta a Nasa scientist is helping to control the Mars Rover from a UK flat above a hairdressers. Nasa is really impressed with the Rovers short back and sides movements.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 7th March 2021, 9:25pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

Scrabble bosses have sparked a row by banning words including "Farting" and "Boobies" The Association of British Scrabble Players hit back at the Woke brigade by saying they're talking BOLLOCKS which gave them sixteen points.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Tuesday 9th March 2021, 7:40pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

Comic Vic Reeves faked Sting's autograph on albums while working in a record shop. Mr Reeves is now being questioned by The Police

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Wednesday 24th March 2021, 7:19pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

The NHS has paid out more than £4 million for needlessly removing testicles, but is finding it difficult to remove the Health Secretary Matt Hancock

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 29th March 2021, 9:45am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

50,000 dangerous breast implants seized at Felixstowe have been shredded and sold as fuel to a power station. Householders in Felixstowe can now buy the new energy saving light boobs

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Saturday 3rd April 2021, 7:26pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

An arsonist ran off with his feet on fire after torching three cars in Weedon Bec, Northants. Police are now searching for a man with matching shoes.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Tuesday 6th April 2021, 9:02pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

A 4000 year old Bronze-Age stone map was unearthed today in France, but still not quite as old as Boris Johnson's roadmap for lifting lockdown restrictions say archaeologists

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 31st May 2021, 7:40pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

Guests danced into the night to the 3 Fiddlers at Boris Johnson's wedding. A guest said. "The 3 cabinet members were spiffing, but least could be said for the musicians. "

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Wednesday 2nd June 2021, 9:23pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 204 posts

A Rotherham amateur Tightrope Walking Club has failed to raise money for a safety net due to a big drop in members