British Comedy Guide

FAKING NEWS Page 5

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Friday 14th August 2020, 5:17pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

On this day in 1880 construction of the Cologne Cathedral Germany was completed, beating the construction of the Hai Karate Cathedral by four months.The Biship of Cologne Cathedral said. "Phew! It was a close shave."

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 17th August 2020, 7:41am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

On this day in 1978 Ben L Abruzzo, Maxie Anderson and Larry Newman completed their first transatlantic balloon flight with Double Eagle ll. Their first balloon attempt with 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUZZO' was lost by some prick at a party.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Wednesday 19th August 2020, 11:03pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

Camping gear sales jump amid staycation Boom.
"This is wonderful news, darling," said a spokesperson for the Drag Queen's Fellowship of
Great Britain

Earliest art in the British Isles discovered on Jersey.
It is believed to between 23000 and 14000 years old and experts believe it is the oldest painting by Banksy to be discovered.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Friday 21st August 2020, 8:14am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

Phones could soon detect if users are drunk by the way they walk.
"Thish is staggering news to us, hic," said Jay Walker spokesperson for the Rotherham Pissed As A Fart Appreciation Society

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Saturday 22nd August 2020, 9:51am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

BATTLE OF THE ROSES
On this day in 1485 Henry Tudor (The future Henry Vll) pushed Yorkist King Richard lll off the English throne in the Battle of Bosworth Field. Henry Tudor's urgency for the throne was blamed on the curry and mead he had consumed the night before thus the saying "I'm going for a Richard the Third." entered into the English language.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 30th August 2020, 11:29pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

Elon Musk unveils pigs implanted with micro chips.
Musk said. "I'm now trying to implant hens into my pigs so I can have chips sausage and egg for tea."

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 31st August 2020, 9:25pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

A drunk man climbed up the Liverpool Philharmonic Hall and stole the second letter "L" off Liverpool, police said. This lead to a desperate search for the letter "L" as they didn't want to be known as a shit orchestra.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Saturday 5th September 2020, 3:32pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

The Education Secretary Gavin Williamson announced all school children will get Quickbooks to help them rapidly catch up with their education which was lost during the pandemic Lockdown.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 6th September 2020, 2:52pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

For the second time this year there is a shortage of toilet paper in the UK as Extinction Rebellion block The Sun, Daily Mail and The Times from leaving the Printworks

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Tuesday 15th September 2020, 7:35pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

Homes were evacuated when a World War Two grenade fell out of a wall in Amlwch, Anglesev.
A bomb disposal expert said. "It's the worst brick mortar I've ever seen."

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Wednesday 16th September 2020, 6:06pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

A remote Island had three hundred and fifty thousand flip flops washed up on its shores.
An environmentalist was overcome with sadness as the Island didn't have a size eleven.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Friday 18th September 2020, 9:25pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

On this day in 1965 Japanese astronomers Ikeya Kaoru and Seki Tsutomu descovered Comet Ikeya Seki and not to be out done Jan Murray discovered PC World in 1991

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 21st September 2020, 10:57am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

Visitors flocked to Blackpool despite police warning against having a "last blast." Some visitors did social distance and were lucky to escape getting wet from a last blast from the pier.

A Barometer found in a car boot could fetch £20,000 at auction after it turned out to be an ultra rare antique from 1776. The Barometer forecasts a deep depression when it goes under the hammer this week.