Tell us a joke Page 59

Quote: Tony Cowards @ 31st July 2014, 1:29 PM BST

Aaah, fairy 'nuff, being a bit thick I didn't really get the "oregano" reference.

;)

No, nor did I. Still, it's a clever joke, whoever wrote it!

Exactly. All properly is theft! And talent borrows genius steals etc.
:)

I was sat at the traffic lights when this stand-up comedian ran up to my plumbers van, pulled off my magnetic company logo, and a load of pedestrians started laughing hysterically.

I shouted, "Why's that funny?".

The comedian replied, "It's in the de-livery".

Is it a Jamaican worshipful master's joke?

Jamaican Uxbridge English Dictionary:

Merit. Meringue. Comforting.

I sent you a letter, I sounded your doorbell, I'm here to pick up the object.

A Muslim wife is complaining to her husband.

"The romance has completely gone from our relationship" she moaned. "Once upon a time you were all over me and couldn't wait to carry me up stairs. What's happened?"

"Simple" the husband replied. "You're not 11 anymore."

I think jokes about women being 'fat' is a bit 70s to be honest.

Quote: Marc P @ 31st July 2014, 9:58 PM BST

I think jokes about women being 'fat' is a bit 70s to be honest.

That's not quite the angle (Muslims marry child brides) but you're probably right.

A teenager has been arrested after lying about being molested by a recently convicted celebrity.

Sounds like the boy who cried Rolf.

Quote: Nick81 @ 31st July 2014, 9:37 PM BST

A Muslim wife is complaining to her husband.

"The romance has completely gone from our relationship" she moaned. "Once upon a time you were all over me and couldn't wait to carry me up stairs. What's happened?"

"Simple" the husband replied. "You're not 11 anymore."

Yes I did get that.

I'm not saying I don't like Prince's music, but I wish he was still a frog.

hi guys,
anyone got any good ideas (or to tell me its really old!)

I have a bit of a routine involving a blow up doll story and I've been looking to add extra jokes to it.

I want to chuck in a reference to my blow up doll having an ex boyfriend who was also a blow up doll and used to punch her (a play on words that when said out loud can sound like puncture!)

my ideas are way to clumsy but I can't get it right, I know Theresa a line out there that can sum this up but it needs to refer to him being a blow up doll. so any better ideas that this?

(baring in mind I'm already talking about my blow up doll!)

She thinks I'm an angle compared to her last boyfriend how was also a blow up doll, mind you he used to punch her!

There must be a gag about letting each other down, or going down on each other.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 3rd August 2014, 7:27 PM BST

hi guys,
anyone got any good ideas (or to tell me its really old!)

I have a bit of a routine involving a blow up doll story and I've been looking to add extra jokes to it.

I want to chuck in a reference to my blow up doll having an ex boyfriend who was also a blow up doll and used to punch her (a play on words that when said out loud can sound like puncture!)

my ideas are way to clumsy but I can't get it right, I know Theresa a line out there that can sum this up but it needs to refer to him being a blow up doll. so any better ideas that this?

(baring in mind I'm already talking about my blow up doll!)

She thinks I'm an angle compared to her last boyfriend how was also a blow up doll, mind you he used to punch her!

You're an angle? That would have sharp edges and could be dangerous.

Anyway I always wanted to change the words to "Living Doll".

"Got to blow her up each evening just cos she's a blow up doll."

Quote: Chappers @ 3rd August 2014, 9:46 PM BST

You're an angle? That would have sharp edges and could be dangerous.

Anyway I always wanted to change the words to "Living Doll".

"Got to blow her up each evening just cos she's a blow up doll."

I am an angle, in my younger days I used to sing backing for the 3 degrees.