An old girlfriend of mine was an aspiring actress. But she had to give up in the end as she wasn't getting the roles she thought she deserved. She did get to play the lead in "Lassie Come Home" though.
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What do you call a singer with four dogs? Sporty.
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 1st February 2022, 10:26 AMAn old girlfriend of mine was an aspiring actress. But she had to give up in the end as she wasn't getting the roles she thought she deserved. She did get to play the lead in "Lassie Come Home" though.
The lead on Lassie's collar?
I like to masturbate into my dad's smelly old socks... Maybe I should make him take them off first.
Simon and Garfunkel said to Dave Gahan, 'We've got this great line, "Parsley, sage, rosemary", but we don't know how to finish it. Will we ever think of an ending?' 'Of course you will,' said Dave. 'It's just a question of thyme.'
I saw a woke LGBTQ person of colour steal my gate. I didn't say anything in case they took a fence.
Spent three years in prison and came out a virgin. I keep my ass covered.
The cryptic crossword I was doing yesterday (genuinely!) had a clue that just said "12 inches".
Here's the "joke"/lie
12 inches (2,4)
As "An foot" was grammatically incorrect, I filled in "My cock"
In the words of Chubby Brown, some ladies don't like it that thick.
I think my mother's trying to learn pop songs. She says, I want to get my lips round some Randy Newman.
You'll have to watch it Micheal, they're coming for Jimmy Carr, you might be next.
With all the news upon Epstein and Ghislaine how come dog groomers are allowed to advertise without any comeback?
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 5th February 2022, 9:37 AMYou'll have to watch it Micheal, they're coming for Jimmy Carr, you might be next.
Jimmy Carr is a legend.
What does Taylor Swift do when she wets herself? Shake it off.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 4th February 2022, 11:57 PMThe cryptic crossword I was doing yesterday (genuinely!) had a clue that just said "12 inches".
Here's the "joke"/lie
12 inches (2,4)
As "An foot" was grammatically incorrect, I filled in "My cock"
What was the answer, I can't get it, and I'm generally very good at cryptics.
Quote: gappy @ 5th February 2022, 6:13 PMWhat was the answer, I can't get it, and I'm generally very good at cryptics.
The original one I was doing was simply "Foot".
If you ejaculate on your toes, should you get out of the come-foot zone?