Quote: Chappers @ 30th January 2022, 8:30 PM

Are you sure about that?

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Don't put the blame on me.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 6th February 2022, 12:06 AM

The original one I was doing was simply "Foot".

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Ah, so it was neither cryptic nor (2,4) - I don't feel too bad for not getting it now!

Quote: gappy @ 6th February 2022, 12:40 PM

Ah, so it was neither cryptic nor (2,4) - I don't feel too bad for not getting it now!

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Yes/No - it was my joke that fell flat on its face. ?

Watching the Winter Olympics reminded me that, some years ago, I fancied trying skiing. I bought all the equipment and took lessons. Then I went out on the slopes convinced that I was a future champion in the making.

Unfortunately it all went downhill from there.

I had sex with Steffi Graf. What a racket.

I know my dad fiddles my mother at that time of the month. I caught him red-handed.

What type of glasses does Elton John wear?
fairy vocals

My best friend spent three hundred quid on a ticket to see Elton John. There must be easier ways to tell your parents you're gay.

I don't like anal. Bores the shit out of me.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 8th February 2022, 11:17 PM

What type of glasses does Elton John wear?
fairy vocals

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What does an optician drink from? Glasses.

A day of shearing on the farm always leaves my hands nice and soft... but it does make a right mess of the cows.

Ringo Starr fleecing goats. Billy Shears.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 13th February 2022, 12:41 PM

What does an optician drink from? Glasses.

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Nothing you ever post is going to be as banal as this one. Shame on you MM. ?

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 13th February 2022, 12:41 PM

What does an optician drink from? Glasses.

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Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 14th February 2022, 10:57 AM

Nothing you ever post is going to be as banal as this one.

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Now, there's a challenge!

To be fair, that optician gag was so bad it was actually funny!
But probably best not to open a gig with it, Michael...!

Quote: a plate @ 16th February 2022, 1:47 AM

To be fair, that optician gag was so bad it was actually funny!

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Sec**ted. Tuumble used it on the Peterborough Jokefest. Remember that?

Quote: a plate @ 16th February 2022, 1:47 AM

But probably best not to open a gig with it, Michael...!

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What's the difference between options and my mother's legs? Options aren't always open.

Mollusc spunk thanked me for solving its identity crisis. I said, 'You're whelk cum.'