If you were a cockney you'd have dropped a plate on a plate!

The amount of Cynthia Payne I was in- no, wait, I'm getting confused...

http://www.whoohoo.co.uk/cockney-translator.asp

or

The bloomin' amount of cynthia payne I was in- nah, wait, I'm gettin' confused...

I hate it when aliens pop in unannounced and I haven't got any Grobnak juice.

Nowt wrong with 'nah' or 'gettin'- I don't say bloomin'.. actually, I do sometimes say blimmin'.
*Endeavours to only ever have contact with people on BCG, where I can be mocked for everything other than mishmashed pronunciation*

Out of interest, who would pronounce that as 's' of mish and who would say 'sh' instead?

What pisses me off is Welsh people who pretend that they can't speak or read English, they're taking the piss

I reckon if you listened to the recordings of all 999 emergency calls made in Wales not f**king one of them would be in Welsh.

"I needs an hambulance now boyo, this bitch of a Ewe has bit me"

"Look you now fetch, the brigade, my rock/ novelty shops on fire"

"Hello love could you get the police round to our house someones nicked the coal out my shed"

They f**k around with it just to try and do English peoples heads, yet they haven't even got their own word for B&B it's a f**king scam.

Also the castles they show off about were all built by the f**king English.

I lost my new mobile for 2 weeks- agonising, really fed up, rang it, no answer, presumed gone forever then when looking for a pack of tabs, yes there it was stuck berween the bottom of 2 chairs! Sooo annoying!

If you don't mind me asking how often do vacuum your hideout?

>_< These chairs abut each other OK!

That is no excuse, I think you should be forced to spend an hour on Anthea Turners website leaning how to clean your home!

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ August 25 2011, 9:39 PM BST

What pisses me off is Welsh people who pretend that they can't speak or read English, they're taking the piss

I reckon if you listened to the recordings of all 999 emergency calls made in Wales not f**king one of them would be in Welsh.

"I needs an hambulance now boyo, this bitch of a Ewe has bit me"

"Look you now fetch, the brigade, my rock/ novelty shops on fire"

"Hello love could you get the police round to our house someones nicked the coal out my shed"

They f**k around with it just to try and do English peoples heads, yet they haven't even got their own word for B&B it's a f**king scam.

Also the castles they show off about were all built by the f**king English.

View original

The English have been exploiting the Welsh since at least the days of King John; it's a wonder that the Welsh are still cheerful & don't massacre the English more often.

These are extracts from the Magna Carta:

(56) If we have disseised or dispossessed any Welshmen of their lands, or liberties, or other things, without a legal verdict of their peers, in England or in Wales, they shall be immediately restored to them; and if any dispute shall arise upon this head then let it be determined in the Marches by the verdict of their peers: for a tenement of England, according to the law of England; for a tenement of Wales, according to the law of Wales; for tenement of the Marches, according to the law of the Marches. The Welsh shall do the same to us and to our subjects.

(57) Also concerning those things of which any Welshman hath been disseised or dispossessed without the legal verdict of his peers, by King Henry our father, or King Richard our brother, which we have in our hand, or others hold with our warrant, we shall have respite, until the common term of the Crusaders, excepting for those concerning which a plea had been moved, or an inquisition made, by our precept, before our taking the cross. But as soon as we shall return from our expedition, or if, by chance, we should not go upon our expedition, we shall immediately do complete justice therein, according to the laws of Wales, and the parts aforesaid.

(58) We will immediately deliver up the son of Llewelin, and all the hostages of Wales, and release them from their engagements which were made with us, for the security of the peace.

I don't give a f**k if you manage to find a Bill of Rights on the stick of a Magnum Lolly ice, the Welsh are taking the piss when they pretend that they can't speak English!

I saw this thing once I think it was in Colditz, they slapped a man across the face and he reacted immediately in English and was then allowed in the tunnel with the other chaps.
Since then I have used that ploy to slap Welsh people across the grid whenever I see them (Outside Dole Offices,Car Clampers, stealing kidney Machines etc etc) not once have I had so much as a yaki f**king dah!

Sycophants who couldn't write funny even if they were using a broken pen.

F**kers at Hotmail. I've linked two accounts and each one has been swamped with 5 copies of each email. Over 2000 in total. I'e now got to delete the duplicates.

Hours spent resending emails, getting annoyed with people because they don't respond, missing two appointments and losing out on a hotel booking because I didn't get the confirmation, then accessing webmail on a whim and finding over 400 emails in bulkmail. Don't know what to do about it.

That and being ignored a lot. *Expects to be ignored.*