"What the eck, Rock n roll let's all have a Pear"

Quote: whatkindoffoolami @ April 12 2013, 4:56 AM BST

"What the eck, Rock n roll let's all have a Pear"

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"I was there shouting with everyone else 'Come back on, ELO, and carry on playing!'"

That's an anecdote love!

"Hands Up.Give me all your petrol"

RTE executive: "You ever been to Ireland, Alan?"
Alan: "No, no. I'd love to go."
RTE executive: "It amazes me when people say that and it's only 49 quid on a plane."
Alan: "Yeah. I think that's what puts me off."

"I'm on the ring road , Lynn. Third time round"

Tony Hayers: "Alan, this is Peter Linehan, he's revamping our current affairs output..."
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Chris Feathers: "Oh, Peter Linehan? Well, he's just revamped News and Current Affairs."

Nice bookends!

"Jurassic Park!"

"Textbook".

"Cash back"

-Hello Camp David.

-Hello, Alan.

-What did you have for Lunch?

-Mince!

"I have 104 friends."

"God created Adam and Eve , not Adam and Steve"

Alan: I loved your article in the Guardian, by the way.
Tony: Really?
Alan: I loved that phrase you used; it was very very clever, where you said revolution, not evolution.
Tony: No, it was the opposite, evolution not revolution.
Alan: Well, you know, whatever. Because that is me. You know, because I e-volve but I don't re-volve. Or vice versa. I suppose what you are trying to say is, you don't want another Chris Evans on your hands.
Tony: No that IS what we want.
Alan: I'm you're man!

"These are sex people"