The Security Men. Image shows from L to R: Jimmy (Brendan O'Carroll), Kenneth (Peter Wight), Ray (Dean Andrews), Duckers (Bobby Ball). Copyright: ITV Studios.

The Security Men

Press Clippings

The Security Men review

WOW, Caroline, WOW. Security Men is disgraceful. You have taken your remit of writing populist rubbish to levels of such sheer redundant mediocrity that I had to keep slicing into the skin between my toes with a vinegar soaked Stanley knife to keep myself from completely flat lining.

Alastair Newport, On The Box, 16th April 2013

The Security Men was a one-off comedy thriller about a quartet of feckless shopping-mall security guards, who, following a raid on a jewellery store under their protection, decide to re-stage the robbery to disguise their own incompetence. Actually, they aren't entirely feckless, as Brendan O'Carroll - escaping from under Mrs Brown's skirts - is given plenty of 'feck'-peppered dialogue to deliver.

Written by Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope, The Security Men started out promisingly but ultimately disappointed on almost every level. It needed either more time to build up the characters, plot and tension or less time, so it could have focused solely on the better jokes. It was neither thrilling nor funny. But, for all its shortcomings, I feel a spin-off series coming on.

Harry Venning, The Stage, 15th April 2013

The Security Men review

It has been panned by critics, mainly owing to its sexist jokes, but I saw The Security Men as an enjoyable hour of farcical comedy.

Matthew McLane, UK TV Reviewer, 14th April 2013

The Security Men attracts 4.8m to ITV

Caroline Aherne's The Security Men brought 4.82m viewers (20.1%) to ITV on Friday, overnight data shows.

Beth Hilton, Digital Spy, 13th April 2013

Review: Peter Wight and Bobby Ball shine

Overall I really enjoyed The Security Men and I have to say I laughed at least four or five times. Aherne and Pope have crafted some brilliant characters and put them in the most boring of situations. I felt that Peter Wight shone the most as the incredibly anal Kenneth.

Unreality TV, 13th April 2013

The Security Men, ITV, review

The Security Men, a one-off comedy written by Caroline Aherne and starring Bobby Ball and Brendan O'Carroll, was unfunny and full of rancid sexism.

Martin Chilton, The Telegraph, 13th April 2013

The Security Men, ITV1 - review

Puerile, predictable one-off comedy from writers Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope.

Lisa-Marie Ferla, The Arts Desk, 13th April 2013

You wouldn't guess that The Security Man (ITV) was written by Caroline Aherne (along with Jeff Pope). It has neither the acerbic wit of Mrs Merton, nor the look-in-the-mirror recognition and realism of The Royle Family. Instead, it's a jolly caper. Three security men are caught (literally) off-guard when they abandon their posts to watch the Amir Khan fight, and the jewellers in the mall they're supposed to be guarding is robbed. With the help of a techie nephew and some very amateur dramatics, they mock up CCTV footage of them being a bit more heroic. It's silly, and rather nice, in a comforting, old-fashioned kind of way. I enjoyed the synchronised-mobility-scooter-to-music routines. Is that really Bobby Ball (as in Cannon and ...)? It is.

Sam Wollaston, The Guardian, 13th April 2013

This one-off comedy written by Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope (who also wrote The Fattest Man In Britain together) was filmed way back in 2011. But, although anything that bears Aherne's name is usually worth seeking out, this isn't going to set the world alight.

In fact, one of the main reasons for tuning in is to see Brendan O'Carroll in uniform instead of the Mrs Brown drag that has made him a superstar.

The show also stars Peter Wight, Dean Andrews and Bobby Ball as his fellow security guards in a Salford shopping mall.

Gentle, old-fashioned and predictable, Take Me Out presenter Paddy McGuinness also pops up as a copper after the slack security men have to cope with an actual robbery.

Jane Simon, The Mirror, 12th April 2013

Pitched into the comedic no-man's land that separates the kid-friendly spills of Night at the Museum from the fogey-ish, knowing humour of Phoenix Nights, Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope's one-off security guard sitcom is an absolute shambles from start to finish.

Bobby Ball and Brendan 'Mrs Brown's Boys' O'Carroll cast their star-wattage over a tale of four slack-arsed shopping-centre security bumblers who, after getting caught napping on the job, decide to rewind the CCTV tapes and recreate a daring jewel theft to make themselves look like have-a-go heroes. If the plot is rickety, the dialogue should rightly be condemned. The rootsy, conversationalist northern humour that made Aherne's The Royle Family so bizarrely sublime has entirely deserted her here. In its place are a barrage of unwarranted F-bombs and endless, charmless references to the range and variety of Ball's wife's vaginal piercings.

The odd moment of seemingly unintentional Lynch-ian weirdness occasionally snags your attention - such as the foursome watching an Amir Khan fight on the TV while the soundtrack swells to the strains of Strangers in the Night and Ball moonwalks across the floor of Dixons - but otherwise, it's a lazy, messy hour of Chuckle Brother pratfalling and needless swears.

Adam Lee Davies, Time Out, 12th April 2013