Ray's had just about enough of the whining, self-obsessed plebian customers he has to put up with every day, so when an opportunity for better things comes along, he jumps at the chance. Meanwhile, Martin hopes that jealousy is an aphrodisiac...

Ray has to give the punters his "Tony Christie" during the interval when the PA system breaks down. A talent scout for Stars in Their Eyes hears him and offers him a spot. Could this be Ray's chance to escape?

Bobby sets Martin up with a date in order to make Christine jealous. Unfortunately, the date, Jean, turns out to be in her early sixties, with a face like a prune. She also thinks "I've got no knickers on" is an attractive chat-up line.

Sandy is thinking of becoming Catholic so her unborn baby will be able to go to the local Catholic school - "it's slap bang in the middle of the Tanning shop and the bookies, so it's dead handy for Terry and me."