Comedians always seem to open their shows by announcing they became a parent for the first, second or third time. Sean Lock was no different as he hosted the first in the new series of Live At The Apollo, declaring in the opening moments - much to the delight of the audience - that he'd 'just had another kid'.

He went on to expand on his family life, saying he often removes the child car seats and pretends he's single for a bit. It was a gag that appeared to raise a few more eyebrows than laughs in the wake of fellow comedian Jason Manford's recent indiscretions.

And the half-laughs continued to flow, as Lock didn't stray too far from the sorts of predictable topics comedians generally favour, touching upon bags for life, the Pope and disability. There was nothing new and really, nothing especially funny either.

The second half of the programme was given over to John Bishop, who began promisingly with a clever joke too blue to repeat, but he too descended into semi-funniness, with a self-deprecating run-through of his career so far.

And if his performance tonight was anything to go by, it's not hard to see why he has to be self-deprecating about his career. His routine was tame and badly paced, making his solid reputation seem unfounded.

So, it was an off-night all round at the Apollo. It's a shame for the series that it had to open with such a weak episode, but with the much darker Rich Hall taking to the stage next week, there's hope yet for a smarter, sharper show.

Has any other presenter ever invested their heart and soul in a show as much as Davina McCall did with Big Brother? Not many people would have put as much enthusiasm into their last day at work as she did on the Ultimate Big Brother Final. And how does C4 repay her? By rounding up a bunch of comedians to insult her in an amusing manner. There's gratitude for you.

Jimmy Carr hosts as Patrick Kielty, Jack Whitehall, Rich Hall, Ed Byrne and Debra Stephenson poke fun, with tributes from her showbiz mates such as Dermot O'Leary, Chris Moyles and Julian Clary. Plus, of course, some former housemates, including Sam Pepper.

Sam's unique talent in the house was rubbing people up the wrong way without even trying. Wonder what he'll do to get under Davina's skin now that he's a free man?

Patrick Kielty MCs more topical, edgy humour tonight from Rich Hall, Jack Whitehall, Andi Osho and Kevin Bridges. And another masochistic celebrity guest braves The Chair - the 21st century equivalent of the stocks. Except, instead of being pelted with rotten fruit and veg, they're subjected to a tsunami of verbal abuse that stops just short of having their head pushed down the toilet.

This week it's Peter Shilton, who'll be hoping for an easier ride than Lembit Opik got last week. Don't be fooled by Kielty's blandly angelic appearance. This isn't the same Patrick Kielty who fronted Fame Academy, Love Island and The National Lottery's Big Ticket. The Patrick Kielty on this show is his ruder, cruder and utterly merciless identical evil twin.

Good to see more topical stand-up on telly... this time Patrick Kielty is at the helm, with a regular team of stand-ups, including veteran Rich Hall plus rising stars Jack Whitehall, Andi Osho and Kevin Bridges, riffing off the week's news and subjecting celebrity guests to a roasting in front of a live audience at Koko in Camden. Hopefully the late-night slot means no taboo is left untouched.

Strangely, tvBite is forever sticking up for Patrick Kielty. Yes, he's not the greatest stand-up ever - but honestly, he's one of the nicest men in showbiz. He told us on the phone that this show will be genuinely edgy and great post-pub entertainment. Hmmm. Rich Hall is a regular, which is a good sign. But so is Jack Whitehall, which really, really isn't. He promised that "people like Jerry Sadowitz" would get guest spots too, though we'll believe that when we see it.

Forget picture rounds, point scoring and clever puns - this blisteringly funny comedy goes straight for the jugular with a team of stand-ups letting rip on the news and sailing as close to the wind as the lawyers allow.

The most extraordinary segment sees host Patrick Kielty verbally cremating Lembit Opik, who is this week's guest in a spot called 'The Chair'.

For what must be the longest two minutes in Opik's life he's abused by Kielty, who probably can't believe he's not being hit. Opik meekly takes it but then 'The Chair' is the only seat he's likely to be offered for the forseeable.

Also appearing are Jack Whitehall, Rich Hall, Kevin Bridges, Andi Osho and Brendon Burns. On the strength of this first show, SUFTW makes HIGNFY look like a doddery old uncle.

C4 lines up topical standup show with by Patrick Kielty

Six-part series Stand Up For The Week to air on Friday nights with regular standups including Rich Hall and Jack Whitehall.

For this two-hour bonanza in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital Children's Charity, Channel 4 recently assembled 24 of Britain's best comedians to perform in front of a live audience at the O2 arena in London. So - deep breath - Jack Dee, Andy Parsons, David Mitchell, Fonejacker, Jack Whitehall, Jo Brand, James Corden, Jason Manford, John Bishop, Kevin Bridges, Kevin Eldon, Lee Evans, Mark Watson, Michael McIntyre, Noel Fielding, Patrick Kielty, Rich Hall, Rob Brydon, Ruth Jones, Sean Lock, Catherine Tate and Shappi Khorsandi take turns on stage to make it the biggest live stand-up show in British history. If that's not enough for you, Alan Carr and Bill Bailey perform with Stomp and Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Johnny Depp provide additional sketches.

This stand-up comedy show at the O2 Arena in London features a barnstorming roll-call of British comedians all stepping up to the mic in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital Children's Charity. The bill includes Alan Carr, Bill Bailey, Catherine Tate, David Mitchell, The Fonejacker, Jack Dee, Jo Brand, Lee Evans, Michael McIntyre, Noel Fielding, Patrick Kielty, Rich Hall, Rob Brydon and Shappi Khorsandi. If you can't find somebody in that list who makes you laugh, it's possible that you have, indeed, had all your funny bones surgically removed.

Channel 4 Comedy Gala at the O2 Arena, London SE10

It was billed as "the biggest live stand-up show in UK history". But although this show in aid of the Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children featured 30-odd comics performing to 15,000 people, with more on video clips, in many ways it conformed to the usual rules of the charity gala. Some acts reminded you why they are stars (Lee Evans, Michael McIntyre, Jack Dee). Some were good enough to win a lot of new fans (Mark Watson, Kevin Bridges, Patrick Kielty, John Bishop, Rich Hall, Sean Lock). Some did their thing and did it well (Noel Fielding, Jo Brand). Barely anyone died a death. And, though the O2's 11pm curfew forestalled the usual overrun, cor, did Evans, the headliner, strike a chord when he imagined what we were thinking: "Pleeeeease, finish!"