The last time I saw Griff Rhys Jones on television was during the Jubilee pageant, when he was meandering up the Thames in a motor launch. I thought he looked miserable then, but that was nothing compared to how fed up he appeared presenting the first episode of the comedy panel quiz show, A Short History of Everything Else (Channel 4). Griff's script opened with: "We're off down memory lane without a seat belt ... because we didn't have to wear them in those days" and went downhill thereafter. His rictus smile throughout was almost certainly pain, though it would be more charitable to put it down to professionalism.

It wasn't just the script that was desperate: it was the concept as well. It was as though someone in the commissioning department had watched a couple of episodes of Have I Got News For You on Dave and come up with the brainwave of dispensing with topicality and making a news show that would feel like a repeat the first time you watched it. From round to round, the format never changed; Griff would make some crap gags to introduce a sequence of archive footage before inviting the two team captains - Marcus Brigstocke and Charlie Baker - along with guests Micky Flanagan and Kirsty Wark to make their own crap gags. I guess it was cheap, but it wasn't funny.

Brigstocke looked for a moment as if he thought he had actually wandered on to the set of a HIGNFY repeat as he gave a passable imitation of an extremely grumpy Paul Merton, looking permanently pissed off and not laughing at anyone else's jokes. But, on reflection, he was probably just annoyed he too had let himself be talked into signing up for such a turkey.

Satire just doesn't work on 30 year-old archive footage. Margaret Thatcher gags stopped having any edge the moment Ben Elton started making them in the 1980s. As for the old clips of Elton John having a tantrum and the 70s beer adverts ... For what it's worth, Charlie and Kirsty won by 15 points to 14. The result might seem rather more relevant in five years though, after the show has been repeated a few times.

Monarchs of the entertainment world rather than royalty are the subject of this engaging three-parter celebrating some of showbusiness's most flamboyant performers. It does promise some serious intent, reflecting on how the likes of Paul O'Grady, Graham Norton and Elton John have changed attitudes to homosexuality. But it's the performances from the archives that really glitter.

This opener looks back to the Dark Ages in 1952, and features such shining stars as Danny La Rue and Liberace. Contributors include Cilla Black, Julian Clary, Ronnie Corbett, Boy George and Arlene Phillips.

Jennifer Saunders interview

Comedian Jennifer Saunders, 53, discusses the two new Christmas episodes of Absolutely Fabulous, taking the mick out of Elton John, and Madonna's sex life.

Lady Gaga confirms Elton John duet on Chatty Man

Lady Gaga made an appearance on Alan Carr's chat show, sharing news of a planned duet with Elton John and details of her unusual bathroom habits.

It's rare to find impressionists whose material matches their talent but for most of this enjoyable half-hour programme Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson have pulled it off. Both find moments to shine. Culshaw nails fashion consultant Gok Wan's slangy lingo and makes a suitably narcissistic Elton John. Stephenson shows us what it would be like to be stuck in a forest with Kirstie Allsopp and excels with her uncanny take on a breathless squinty-eyed Claudia Winkleman.

Walliams keen on becoming a father

David Walliams is eager to start a family with wife Lara Stone after seeing several of his pals, including Sir Elton John, settle down with children in recent months.

Like a best man speech for a celebrity, the roast - where a famous guest of honour is mercilessly insulted by other celebs - is a long-standing ­tradition in the US. Channel 4 has imported the concept and tonight it's the turn of Sharon Osbourne - a human equivalent of an open goal.

Hosted by Jimmy Carr, this is the funniest and also the rudest hour of TV all week, with Jack Dee, Patrick Kielty, Gok Wan, Alan Carr, Louis Walsh, Ronni Ancona, Keith Lemon and Elton John paying acid-tongued tribute to Sharon's extensive plastic surgery, mothering skills and propensity for sending dog poo to her enemies.

And this put-down from Patrick Kielty shows that nothing is too near to the knuckle. "It's fair to say that Ozzy has never strayed," he quips. "He did once make a dash for freedom but after Sharon cut the brakes on the quad bike, he's now learned his lesson..."

The Rivoli Ballroom in south London is used to seeing stars. It was the setting for Tina Turner's Private Dancer video as well as an Elton John video. It'll be seeing some more as the setting for Justin Lee Collins' new chat show.

The opulent intimate setting give this the same kind of vibe as TFI Friday once had the dividing line between guests and audience is comfortably blurred.

After Jason Manford's new variety show Comedy Rocks started on Friday on ITV1, it'll be interesting to see how the two comedians shape up.

This could possibly be the most deranged variety show you'll ever see, the only place on earth where you can watch Christopher Biggins pretending to be Boris Johnson, and Jerry Hall impersonating Katie Price. If that doesn't draw you in, how about Joe Pasquale as Lady Ga-Ga? Or Ulrika Jonsson as David Beckham? No? Surely Vanessa Feltz masquerading as James May is irresistible. As is Eamonn Holmes as Elvis Presley. And David Gest as Elton John. Les Dennis as Gary Barlow... The list goes on, and just gets odder. The All Star Impressions Show could be completely awful or it could be enjoyably barmy. It certainly has a very good pedigree, being co-produced by Steve Coogan's and Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer's production companies. And it has a certain surreal gloss that could be quite winning. Harry Hill will make a guest appearance, though we don't know whether he will reprise the Morrissey impression that won him Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes all those years ago.