Coronavirus Page 5

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A Horseradish

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 10:21am [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,525 posts

Yes, quite

In these days of entirely logical bans on flights between the US and Europe (excluding the American state of Great Britain and the island of Northern Ireland), we should all now be following the example of the great aviator Howard Hughes.

Quote:

"Towards the end of his life, Hughes always lay naked in bed in darkened hotel rooms in what he considered to be a germ-free zone. He wore tissue boxes on his feet to protect them. And he burned his clothing if someone near him became ill.

He wrote a staff manual on how to open a can of peaches--including directions for removing the label, scrubbing the can down until it was bare metal, washing it again and pouring the contents into a bowl without touching the can to the bowl. He even ordered staff to wash their hands multiple times and layer their hands with paper towels when serving his food."

This article doesn't mention him walking around naked on newspapers which my memory tells me he did to avoid contact with all clothing and carpet fibres, That, though, was before he realised walking from the bedroom to the bathroom is an absolute minefield. Sensibly he didn't do it again, nor wash or clean his teeth to fully self isolate from porcelain and brush.

That's right. He was in medical terms way ahead of his time. So today I shall be writing both to my MP and the greatest Marxist of our times Rishi Sunak to ask if these measures will immediately be made legally compulsory. That is, before we introduce much more stringent vitally necessary policies like abolishing newspapers, destroying all carpets and clothes, sealing off all but one room in every building and introducing the death penalty for anyone seen fondling a tin of fruit.

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 12:27pm
  • Everton, England
  • 3,190 posts

Fact will also meet fiction as I suspect that the COBRA meeting today that starts after dinner instead of 9am on the dot is either for them awaiting more positive news which is not likely.
Or he intends to outline way more severe measures which he would have rather have given out on a Friday to let people act more calmly over the weekend which would have been the Chief Medical Officers advice.

However the people who study behaviour will have pointed out that telling people that schools and sports are to be closed and we all may have to go home and hide on Friday the 13th could be the spark that sets the cattle off.
And as I just read in the Guardian comments 'Anyone who has seen what happens in Asda and Tesco on Black Friday when they're only after cheap tellys has no idea whats coming our way if we get this one wrong .

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A Horseradish

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 6:48pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,525 posts
Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 12th March 2020, 12:27 PM

Fact will also meet fiction as I suspect that the COBRA meeting today that starts after dinner instead of 9am on the dot is either for them awaiting more positive news which is not likely.
Or he intends to outline way more severe measures which he would have rather have given out on a Friday to let people act more calmly over the weekend which would have been the Chief Medical Officers advice.

However the people who study behaviour will have pointed out that telling people that schools and sports are to be closed and we all may have to go home and hide on Friday the 13th could be the spark that sets the cattle off.
And as I just read in the Guardian comments 'Anyone who has seen what happens in Asda and Tesco on Black Friday when they're only after cheap tellys has no idea whats coming our way if we get this one wrong .

Surprisingly schools and sports remain more or less open though north of the border the SNP's claim is that crowds of 500 plus outdoors are to be banned. I say "claim". The odds on Nicola being seen to send in the police to disperse all larger crowds at Highland Games events the length and breadth of Scotland are, according to my scientific model, close to zero.

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Briosaid

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 9:26pm
  • 1,356 posts
Quote: A Horseradish @ 12th March 2020, 6:48 PM

Surprisingly schools and sports remain more or less open though north of the border the SNP's claim is that crowds of 500 plus outdoors are to be banned. I say "claim". The odds on Nicola being seen to send in the police to disperse all larger crowds at Highland Games events the length and breadth of Scotland are, according to my scientific model, close to zero.

You are an idiot and I claim my £5. Do you really think all Scots residents are so stupid that they won't back sensible measures? I have friends in England who envy us for having somebody like Nicola in charge. Compare her to your idiot Johnson. Ach, away and shove your idiot attitudes up your arse.

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A Horseradish

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 9:43pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,525 posts
Quote: Briosaid @ 12th March 2020, 9:26 PM

You are an idiot and I claim my £5. Do you really think all Scots residents are so stupid that they won't back sensible measures? I have friends in England who envy us for having somebody like Nicola in charge. Compare her to your idiot Johnson. Ach, away and shove your idiot attitudes up your arse.

Pardon me for the asking. I merely wrote as one who in the 1970s was taught how to toss the caber by none other than Donald E Campbell at the well-attended Nairn (it is pronounced Nurn) Games. I can send proof if you don't believe me.

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Billy Bunter

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 10:47pm [Edited]
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,367 posts
Quote: Briosaid @ 12th March 2020, 9:26 PM

I have friends in England who envy us for having somebody like Nicola in charge.

I know this is a comedy site but:

the first rule of comedy, Spike - you must have reality...

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Briosaid

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 10:58pm
  • 1,356 posts
Quote: A Horseradish @ 12th March 2020, 9:43 PM

Pardon me for the asking. I merely wrote as one who in the 1970s was taught how to toss the caber by none other than Donald E Campbell at the well-attended Nairn (it is pronounced Nurn) Games. I can send proof if you don't believe me.

Couldn't care less about your proof. Tossing the caber no doubt takes some skill, but as with all sport, intellect us another matter.

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Rood Eye

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 11:14pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 4,103 posts

I think we can say with some certainty that the governments of Ireland and Scotland actually give a damn about their citizens.

What we can say about the government of England is less certain.

While some governments are banning gatherings of more than 500 in order to protect lives throughout their countries, Boris is allowing 70,000 people to congregate tomorrow at Cheltenham.

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A Horseradish

  • Thursday 12th March 2020, 11:32pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,525 posts
Quote: Briosaid @ 12th March 2020, 10:58 PM

Couldn't care less about your proof. Tossing the caber no doubt takes some skill, but as with all sport, intellect us another matter.

Nope.

The pronunciation is a tad unexpected but it isn't as though it is like 23 words or nothing.

It's pronounced "Nurn"".

Like the name itself, just one syllable.

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john tregorran

  • Friday 13th March 2020, 1:38am [Edited]
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,459 posts
Quote: Rood Eye @ 12th March 2020, 11:14 PM

I think we can say with some certainty that the governments of Ireland and Scotland actually give a damn about their citizens.

What we can say about the government of England is less certain.

While some governments are banning gatherings of more than 500 in order to protect lives throughout their countries, Boris is allowing 70,000 people to congregate tomorrow at Cheltenham.

The virus, having infected as many of those people as it can, will of course struggle to find its way from the bodies of those people to Ireland: the Scots, of course, will not be so lucky.

Having seen the antics they get up to at Cheltenham,they seemed to have been infected by some sort of virus already.

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Gordon Bennett

  • Friday 13th March 2020, 4:34pm
  • Basel, Switzerland
  • 19,199 posts

Schools closed here in Switzerland.

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Firkin

  • Friday 13th March 2020, 5:05pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 1,010 posts

My kids are hopeful their school will close Gordon. On a more positive note, there are some great deals on Corona beer and it's easier to get a parking space. I wonder if a lastminute.com holiday would be daft, prices are on the floor.

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Briosaid

  • Friday 13th March 2020, 8:43pm
  • 1,356 posts

Alas and well alack! I was supposed to be meeting friends from school in the centre of Glasgow next Thursday and now we feel we can't do it.

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john tregorran

  • Friday 13th March 2020, 10:50pm
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,459 posts

Great amusement here.Hard man Peter Dutton MP (shoot all illegal immigrants.) has got it.
Even better news,he's just visited his hero, the leader of the free world.:)

A film held in reserve for times of crisis: