Coronavirus Page 4

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Billy Bunter

  • Monday 9th March 2020, 6:28pm
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,367 posts

Earthquake of magnitude 5.2 strikes Madeira Islands
Flood and travel warning for Wales as heavy rain forecast

What was it the Bible said about earthquakes, floods & plagues... Teary

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Briosaid

  • Monday 9th March 2020, 8:30pm
  • 1,356 posts

Yes, the bible, manmade shite.

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chipolata

  • Monday 9th March 2020, 9:45pm
  • England
  • 30,081 posts

I'm looking forward to waiting a couple of weeks then getting a free week off work with some self-isolation

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Rood Eye

  • Monday 9th March 2020, 10:39pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 4,103 posts
Quote: Briosaid @ 9th March 2020, 8:30 PM

manmade shite.

Acetate, Chiffon, Acrylic, Organza, Nylon, Polyester, Rayon and, as Brio suggests, the Bible are eight very popular examples.

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Tuesday 10th March 2020, 8:49am [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,496 posts

Rules too. Man made shite. There are no rules.

Except what a woman can do and what a woman can't do, to paraphrase Cap'n Jack Sparrow.

You can substitute man or person for woman if you wish, just don't complain. Complaints tend to mean employees get sacked and my chippie is understaffed at the moment due to excessive Corona drinking. They do shift rather more than they should, but hey.

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A Horseradish

  • Tuesday 10th March 2020, 2:55pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,525 posts

Now that there is an anti fake news truth force at the heart of Government, I do think it is time that people stopped saying all zoos will be closed to test vaccines on the gnus there. It isn't ALL of the zoos and so far as I am aware it isn't the gnus.

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Rood Eye

  • Tuesday 10th March 2020, 11:04pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 4,103 posts

Guess who's just been diagnosed with coronavirus?

Only Nadine Dorries, the health minister!

She recently attended a meeting with Boris Johnson and has interacted with hundreds of people in parliament during the last week.

We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed!

PS. In order to maintain balance in my postings, I shall now quote another relevant catchphrase from "Dads Army".

Don't panic!

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john tregorran

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 12:52am
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,459 posts

I think you're entering the realms of fantasy there Rood.

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Rood Eye

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 1:16am [Edited]
  • England
  • 4,103 posts

Tuesday was the opening day of the Cheltenham Festival and, during this week, some 260,000 racing fans will be in attendance and packed into a relatively small area.

They're going to be there all week: the young and the old and the in-between.

And they're all going to go home to all parts of Britain and mix with their friends and families and workmates and fellow townspeople.

So, it was clear to me that either all this "coronavirus Armageddon" is a load of bollocks or we're very soon going to see something never seen in Britain since the Black Death.

In fact, when I heard they were going to let the Festival go ahead, I thought about moving to Italy in order to reduce my chances of catching the virus.

But, just as I was about to buy my ticket, I heard that the organisers at Cheltenham had installed 14 hand sanitiser units at various places around the course.

Needless to say, I knew the coronavirus couldn't possibly defeat 14 hand sanitiser units being shared by 260,000 people and their 520,000 hands.

I shall sleep soundly in my bed tonight knowing I'm protected by such a knowledgeable, caring and thoroughly effective government.

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 8:46am
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,496 posts

The thing about Corona is that next week it will be Oceania that drank it all.

"I sincerely think your best policy is to buy more toilet rolls", Head of Tactical Marketing, Andrex

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Billy Bunter

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 9:24am
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,367 posts
Quote: Rood Eye @ 11th March 2020, 1:16 AM

Tuesday was the opening day of the Cheltenham Festival and, during this week, some 260,000 racing fans will be in attendance and packed into a relatively small area.

I would rather take my chance in the crisp, fresh air of the Cotswolds with 67,500 spectators spread over 350 acres for 4 hours each day than spend 25 minutes on the London Underground in the rush hour twice a day for a week.

Anyway I'm off to buy my Racing Post now...

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billwill

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 10:56am
  • North London, England
  • 5,833 posts

If you're happy and you know it, wash your hands (clap clap)
If you're happy and you know it, wash your hands (clap clap)
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it, wash your hands. (clap clap)

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DaButt

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 1:58pm
  • The Lone Star State, United States
  • 13,918 posts

Coronavirus has claimed another victim: my travel plans. I canceled my flight to see my son and a Wilco concert in Seattle, since the governor is expected to announce a ban on events with more than 250 attendees. I'm gonna fly to Denver and visit my daughter and grandson instead.

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 4:01pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,496 posts

If you're sneezing just through one nostril, is that a Half-Corona?

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Chappers

  • Wednesday 11th March 2020, 5:31pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,247 posts

I've decided to catch the virus so that I can get it over with one way or the other.