I have had the worst week ever of foot in mouth disease.

Earlier this week I was having a pinot in my local when my group started talking cartoons. I mentioned Hong Konk Poohey, then went about doing the actions & gasping high ki chi dicca dica dica die, or whatever my version of him was. Anyhoo I recieved a tap on the shoulder & was called a racist by a Chinese guy or Japenese. I suppose me not knowing which one he was will make me racist too. I tried to explain I was doing an impression but he wasnt having it. I couldnt argue with the guy to much as I had no clue really to what he was saying. So anyhoo Tues pm I was a racist.

Then On Thurs I had an altercation with a woman in Homebase. I accidently caught her face with my brand new curtain pole & she threw a mental. I apologised several times until I got to the point of being bored with the word sorry. So in the end out of sheer frustration I told her to Fookoff.
Later that same day while at a petrol station I got talking to my sons ex teacher. We were yakking about my boys & he was telling me how great they were etc. He said his wife always asks after them too. (I have never met this guys wife). Anyhoo I walked towards his car while talking & there in his passenger seet was a lady with a big black eye. Yes it was the woman I beat in Homebase. A woman who always asks after my boys. A fellow teacher. So Thurs I was a thug & a bitch to a perfectly nice woman.

I have decided that for 7 days & 7 nights I am not leaving this house.

You live in a sitcom.
And I think that sitcom is the English, female version of Curb Your Enthusisasm.

I'd have just ignored this 'oriental' type. Sounds like an idiot to me. Not worth the energy!

True foot in mouth disease is a long term illness. I've had it since birth.

Great Blog Charley! Your life is indeed blogworthy..

I put my foot in mouth this week too (no, really.. )

I am very careful what I say to customers usually but I went to meet a new customer and one of his senior colleagues came in to say something to me and she had clearly lost of her voice. So I started whispering too and then said 'what are we whispering for..' and nudged her (God knows why I did that, it's being on these bloody sites...)

Anyway you guessed it, turns out she really does have a speech impediment and always talks like that. So I am now known for mocking the disabled. We haven't lost the Account yet but she certainly wasn't amused, not one bit. Which just goes to prove that just because you're disabled doesn't mean you're not a miserable f****r.

I am sure I have seen that as a sketch several times too, but I honestly didn't see it coming in real life..

Nice one anyway Charley mate...

I will see you behind the bike sheds at lunchtime... if you want..

People like that piss me off. They can't just live with their disability quietly, can they? *shakes fist*

Quote: Charley @ October 20, 2007, 2:13 PM

I have had the worst week ever of foot in mouth disease.

Earlier this week I was having a pinot in my local when my group started talking cartoons. I mentioned Hong Konk Poohey, then went about doing the actions & gasping high ki chi dicca dica dica die, or whatever my version of him was. Anyhoo I recieved a tap on the shoulder & was called a racist by a Chinese guy or Japenese. I suppose me not knowing which one he was will make me racist too. I tried to explain I was doing an impression but he wasnt having it. I couldnt argue with the guy to much as I had no clue really to what he was saying. So anyhoo Tues pm I was a racist.

Then On Thurs I had an altercation with a woman in Homebase. I accidently caught her face with my brand new curtain pole & she threw a mental. I apologised several times until I got to the point of being bored with the word sorry. So in the end out of sheer frustration I told her to Fookoff.
Later that same day while at a petrol station I got talking to my sons ex teacher. We were yakking about my boys & he was telling me how great they were etc. He said his wife always asks after them too. (I have never met this guys wife). Anyhoo I walked towards his car while talking & there in his passenger seet was a lady with a big black eye. Yes it was the woman I beat in Homebase. A woman who always asks after my boys. A fellow teacher. So Thurs I was a thug & a bitch to a perfectly nice woman.

I have decided that for 7 days & 7 nights I am not leaving this house.

View original

Quote: zooo @ October 20, 2007, 2:23 PM

You live in a sitcom.
And I think that sitcom is the English, female version of Curb Your Enthusisasm.

View original

Quote: zooo @ October 20, 2007, 2:23 PM

You live in a sitcom.
And I think that sitcom is the English, female version of Curb Your Enthusisasm.

View original

Quoted again because it's such a good call! So true.

These incidents do indeed sound very sitcom-worthy.

Don't know if you saw Plus One on Friday, but the hot-chilli-on-willy incident in that was based around one of the writers own experiences... the funniest situations are often the true ones.

Here's something for people to consider: Maybe write a sitcom based on your own life?

(sadly I couldn't do that... a guy sitting in front of a computer all day isn't exactly funny!)

Loads of peeps on here have random lives. I guess that's why they are so creative and funny. I would love to see Charley in a sitcom. It may be late night though!

Quote: Mark @ October 21, 2007, 3:09 PM

Here's something for people to consider: Maybe write a sitcom based on your own life?

View original

Already been made, it's called Game On. Sure I act like Matt on here, but I'm really Martin

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Oh gawd. Original Matt was gorgeous.

Have been watching them all again recently, thanks to someone who shall remain nameless. (Aaron.)

Oops.

Original Matt went onto Hollywood whereas second Matt appears in the bill sometimes! Awwww!