Best Fawlty Towers Quote or Scene

Fawlty Towers. Image shows from L to R: Sybil Fawlty (Prunella Scales), Basil Fawlty (John Cleese), Polly (Connie Booth), Manuel (Andrew Sachs). Copyright: BBC.

Fawlty Towers

Comedy about a hotel and its owner, a man of infinite rudeness with a rabid dislike of almost all guests



  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 8:07pm [Edited]
  • Wolverhampton, England
  • 3,386 posts

Right Then. My Favourite quote would have to be from "Waldorf Salad" where Basil says "Typical. Absolutely Typical. The Kind of... Arse! I have to put up with from you people , you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot. Im Trying to run a hotel here!"

Comedy GOLD!!! Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

What's Your favourite?


Gordon Bennett

  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 8:17pm
  • Basel, Switzerland
  • 19,199 posts

Basil caught Sybil flirting with a younger guest:

Basil: Charming eh? Well he's certainly covered in charms. I've never seen so many medals around one neck in my life. He must be the bravest orang-utan in Britain. What's the point of decorating yourself like that?

Sybil: They're not just for decoration. They have symbolic meaning.

Basil: Sybil that type would wear a dog turd round its neck if it was made of gold.



  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 8:52pm
  • Florida, United States
  • 205 posts

From The Germans:

Basil: Don't touch me! I don't know where you been?
Basil: My God, you're ugly, aren't you?
Sybil: Basil!
Nurse: I'll... I'll get a doctor.
Basil: You need a plastic surgeon, dear, not a doctor.

German Guest: Entshuldigen sie, bitte, k├Ânnen sie Deutsch sprechen?
Basil: I'm sorry, could you say that again?
German Guest: You speak German?
Basil: Oh, German, I I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you!

Old Ladies: We don't think you're well, Mr. Fawlty.
Basil: Oh, well, perhaps not, but I'll live longer than you!

German Guest: Will you stop talking about the war?
Basil: Me? You started it!
German Guest: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!


Tim Azure

  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 9:02pm [Edited]
  • Kent, England
  • 2,037 posts

"Racket? That's Brahms!" (Shouts) "Brahms' Third Racket!"



  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 9:13pm
  • England
  • 1,727 posts

The nonsense between Mrs Richards and Manuel about the manager- C K Watt who's 40.


Billy Bunter

  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 9:27pm
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,469 posts

How did you become two doctors? ...Did you take the exam twice?


Gordon Bennett

  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 9:30pm
  • Basel, Switzerland
  • 19,199 posts

Japo-Scandinavian imitation veal substitute.


Billy Bunter

  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 11:27pm
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,469 posts

Manuel: You Orelly men? .........

......O'Reilly: You've heard of the genius of the lamp, Mrs Fawlty? Well that's me
Sybil: You think I'm joking don't you?
Basil: Oh don't smile
Sybil: Why are you smiling?
O'Reilly: Well, to be perfectly honest, Mrs Fawlty, I like a woman with spirit.
Sybil: Oh do you? Is that what you like?
O'Reilly: I do, I do.
Sybil: (picks up a golfing umbrella & wallops him) O'Reilly, I have seen more intelligent creatures than you lying on their backs at the bottom of ponds. I have seen better organised creatures than you running round farmyards with their heads cut off...



  • Wednesday 27th February 2013, 11:44pm
  • Near my beloved Black Country in Wolverhampton, England
  • 13,416 posts

He no here . . look . .


Gordon Bennett

  • Thursday 28th February 2013, 8:58am
  • Basel, Switzerland
  • 19,199 posts

In "Hotel Inspectors":



Stephen Goodlad

  • Thursday 28th February 2013, 9:54am
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,868 posts

Deaf Mrs Richardson wanting some toilet paper and Polly mistaking it for writing paper

Mrs. Richards:
Girl, there's no paper in my room. Why don't you check these things? That's what you're being paid for, isn't it?

We don't put it in the rooms.

Mrs. Richards:

Well, we keep it in the lounge.

Mrs. Richards: [aghast]
In the lounge?

I'll get you some. Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it?

Mrs. Richards:
Address on it?

How many sheets? Well, how many are you going to use?

Mrs. Richards: [furiously banging the desk bell]



  • Thursday 28th February 2013, 11:56am
  • Derbys, England
  • 301 posts

BASIL: "Voom! What was that ? That was your life, mate. That was quick, do I get another ? Sorry mate, that's your lot."

I'm just going for a quiet cry now Teary



  • Friday 1st March 2013, 10:31am
  • Peterborough, England
  • 4,491 posts

Mrs Richards: And another thing - I asked for a room with a view.

Basil: (to himself) Deaf, mad and blind. This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes, this is it.

Mrs Richards: When I pay for a view I expect something more interesting than that.
Basil: That is Torquay, Madam.
Mrs Richards: Well, it's not good enough.
Basil: Well ... may I ask what you were hoping to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeeste sweeping majestically ... ?
Mrs Richards: Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky

Mrs Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
Basil Fawlty: Well perhaps you should consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea. Or preferably in it.