Quote: fopdoodle @ 11th May 2017, 9:17 PMReally? That's brutal.
So if you turn up for work one day and your boss doesn't like your shirt, he/she can fire you - and you have no rights whatsoever? That can't be right . . .
Of course you have rights, and you can challenge it in court if you think you've been wrongfully terminated, but you'd better be able to prove that you were discriminated against because of your age/sex/race/whatever.
It's quite easy to fire someone in this country.
Quote: zooo @ 11th May 2017, 6:01 PMBut we're concocting a solution to help ease your nose out of Trump's arsehole.
Love it! 
I'm sensing Hubble bubble toil and trouble.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 11th May 2017, 10:32 PMI'm sensing Hubble bubble toil and trouble.
And you're IT!!!!
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 11th May 2017, 10:32 PMI'm sensing Hubble bubble toil and trouble.
"When shall we three meet again............." 
Quote: Firkin @ 11th May 2017, 5:24 PMFopdoodle I think the knives are closing in on him, we just need a Brutus. You can't fake news all of the people all of the time. Mind you my American friend keeps asking when will we come to our senses over Brexit. You could argue that Brexit will do more long term damage than Trump.
But anyway, I'm with Davida, I've got political overload, and I can't change any of it so back to tractors and caravans. We had a travelling gentleman driving a horse and cart on a dual carriage way the other day. He insisted on going in the fast lane so everyone was undertaking (no dead people involved). My main concern was over the viscosity of horse shit, that's some slipper stuff, can you imagine explain that on an insurance claim ? So I think the horse trumps Tractors and Trump and caravans. So let's get competitive, can anyone trump horses ?
Our local farmer is very friendly , he's always waving at me when I'm stuck behind his tractor.
Do horse trumps trump horses?
(sorry)
I've never seen especially slick horse shit. Maybe the horse owner tried fueling the horse with petrol? That would surely give it some slick shit. Only reasonable explanation I can see...
Sidenote: This isn't a complaint, just something that kind of made my day today. A zany old lady with dementia who usually talks through her stuffed bear like a ventrilloquist doll (she's quite eccentric) broke character today to accuse me quite loudly and adamantly of having 4 nipples. She was going on and on about it. And I was looking down at my chest just like...hmm. Nope. Only 2...and they're hidden behind 3 layers of clothing. I just completely lost it. It's moments like that that really keep me on my toes at work. I receive some pretty odd comments on a regular basis. Like at least once a day I'm complimented for being "so black and beautiful" (I am neither black, nor beautiful). Or another one today was "Oh my, you have beautiful noses." and then another lady was dancing a slightly lewd little spontaneous dance in front of me, and then another lady threw a spoon at us and the dancing lady shouted "You gotta be killing me!!" Which I thought was a cute malapropism. My job is weird.
And this post is not off topic. I mentioned horse shit. I'm playing by the rules. 
Your job sounds like comedy gold Davida. Maybe your nipple accuser just wanted you to wip off your (three) tops to prove her wrong ? It might be on her bucket list; lesbianism. I know it's on mine. In which case it was a complement, so well done.
If I ever got a terminal illness, I think I might have a crack at hard drugs. My mum was very strict about that, she never shared. You mentioned they called you black and beautiful. There was a kids program in the UK called Black Beauty, it was about a horse. I mentioned horse, so we're back on topic.
Loll. Good old Davida 4-nipples Grimes.
Would it be called fournipication if she had sex with one .............Coats already on, bye
A lot of the ladies in the memory care wing get a bit lesbianish (perhaps because there are so few men who live long enough to get to that stage in life? we only have 4 men in the entire wing) . Hard to gauge whether or not they actually are lesbians or whether it's a more recent persuasion...but it's definitely an interesting phenomenon! That very same day one of my favorite word salady residents was rambling happily and incoherently at me about turnips or whatever, and I put some hand lotion on her because her hands were dry and because I was supposed to be having "spa time" with the residents, and she starting reaching her arm up my sleeve, with grerat intent and curiosity with her face getting more and more excited and interested the deeper she got up my sleeve. Saucy? (Rest assured she didn't get anywhere near any of my four nipples) I'm just glad my upper arm can bring someone such joy to someone! There's also this weird thing where half the residents have lost track of how to distinguish between men and women completely. Hard to know whether it's conceptually or just verbally, but there's a man who refers to all people, no matter how feminine or masculine they are as "that guy" and "him/he". Have never heard him utter the word "she". It's just completely left his vocabulary. And another woman calls a lot of men "ma'am" and a lot of women "sir". Pretty much a random stab in the dark every time. Black or white, man or woman, fat or skinny....they're usually too confused to discriminate. A lot less racism/homophobia/bullying goes on in the dementia wing than out with the normal people.
My work is definitely comedy gold.
Hard drugs seems like a good option. A lot of places I've worked, like long-term-care grungy nursing homes keep their residents pretty well blitz on opiates most of the time. Not entirely sure how I feel about that, but they seem to enjoy it. Takes the edge off the loneliness, the shit smell, the boredom, the pain, and the generally bleak surroundings. That's depressing. Those places ARE depressing. People are way less medicated at the place I work now though. I think that's a better situation. But personally, yeah, drugs, definitely the way to go in old age (if I make it to that point). The last place I worked there was a good sized handful of people with prescription marijuana edibles. Not so much at my current place, but I could definitely see that becoming more of a trend in coming years now that it's legal recreationally.
Okay, staying on topic...got the 4 nipples, but that's not a complaint. New complaint: It slightly pisses me off that Stewart Lee seems to be skipping the Fringe for the first time in years and I might actually be able to make it over this year for the first time. I'm on a big Stewart Lee kick right now. Don't want to start saying for certain that I'll be going to Edinburgh this August, as I haven't exactly nailed down plans yet, but it's looking fairly likely. If any of you are going, would love to meet up (unless you're an terrible person or are put off by slightly mad, abnormally tall, American women with 4 nipples.) Would be heading down to Bath after being in Edinburgh for about a week, then London for a day or 2, if any of you are near by and for some reason want to meet me, we should talk! (once I know more about my potential plans are).
My attempt to get back on topic got off topic...
Hold on, who am I allegedly fournipicating with? The old ladies? Eh, I think I'll pass on that. Nothing against ladies, or old people, but yeah...no thanks. Is lesbianism on MY bucket list? I've not thought about that. Hmm... I'd totally go gay for Julia Davis. I already know that much, and also that that's nowhere near the realm of possibility. Even more off topic. (Unless nipples and lesbianism are the new topics). Almost tempted to make a bucket list thread. I'm curious what you all would put on your bucket lists. Or maybe that's been done already. The Fringe has been on my bucket list since before I knew what a bucket list was. And I've checked getting-a-grumpy-tweet-from-reece-shearsmith off the list 4 times-over now. What else is left? ...lesbianism I guess.
(Sidenote: If I say anything completely mental in the coming days, perhaps in overly long weird posts such as this one, I do apologize. I keep forgetting to take my crazy pills...and sleeping. I'm going to shut up now.)
Quote: Davida Grimes @ 12th May 2017, 2:25 PMIs lesbianism on MY bucket list? I've not thought about that. Hmm... I'd totally go gay for Julia Davis.
If she brings along Julian Barratt, I concur.
Annoying:
I keep seeing intriguing words or phrases on the Twitter trends list (ie Ice Slice, Venice Beach, Queen's Logic) I click on them thinking something interesting might have happened, and every f**king time it's a racehorse name.
Quote: zooo @ 12th May 2017, 2:41 PMIf she brings along Julian Barratt, I concur.
Annoying:
I keep seeing intriguing words or phrases on the Twitter trends list (ie Ice Slice, Venice Beach, Queen's Logic) I click on them thinking something interesting might have happened, and every f**king time it's a racehorse name.
I was thinking Julian would be an obstacle toward getting to Julia, but then realized that's madness, why in the name of Merlin would I kick the lovely Julian Barratt out of bed with me!? (hypothetically/fantisizetastically thinking of course).
Oh, I also got called "Tanfastic" by one of my old confused ladies yesterday. Felt pretty good about that one. Do I look like I've been fasting and have a nice tan?...probably not, *checks* yep, still pretty fat and translucently white...oh well). They come up with some pretty cutely jarbled compliments sometimes.
(I'm waiting for "her" to admit to really being a man, that is David A Grimes) 
Quote: Davida Grimes @ 12th May 2017, 2:25 PMWould be heading down to Bath after being in Edinburgh for about a week
Definitely check out The Old Green Tree pub while you're in Bath. It's my favorite pub in the world. It's tiny and filled with interesting characters in the daytime.
Quote: Davida Grimes @ 12th May 2017, 2:25 PMThe Fringe has been on my bucket list since before I knew what a bucket list was.
......overly long weird posts such as this one, I do apologize.
No need to apologize, I like your posts , you use words and everything, so keep it up.
If you're booking Edinburgh at short notice you might struggle to get decent accommodation. Brighton has a bigger comedy festival straight after. I mention it because it's bigger. Oh and more spread out, so not so many crowds. You're more likely to get affordable lodgings at short notice, within walking distance. And Beaky has plagiarised it in his fabulous comedy the Rebel. It has a big Turkish looking pink palace (without a Casino in it). And a KFC that everyone disapproves off, except when no one is looking. It's also very Liberal, so everyone is funny, even the parking attendants. Men are allowed to hug each other without the fear of imprisonment. It's like San Francisco (cracking place) but without the faults. Also you'll know who's won all the comedy prizes in Edinburgh, so it's easier to pick a good show. http://www.brightoncomedyfringe.co.uk/
or 
? Hint
