Newsjack - Series 9 Page 21

Quote: swerytd @ October 2 2013, 2:33 PM BST

Those are *always* the worst seats though, aren't they?

Dan

Maybe they should offer Speedy Boarding Plus...

Quote: Bonzo @ October 2 2013, 12:41 PM BST

I just got my tickets for the show on 23rd October! Hooray!

Start queueing now, you might get a seat at the back :)

Quote: AndyGilder @ October 2 2013, 5:05 PM BST

Start queueing now, you might get a seat at the back :)

I'm already setting up my tent! :D

Evening, folks

Great show tonight. Here's a list of what I can remember:

Intro - why none of the cast can host show because all their dads hate Britain
Running gag with Danny Dyer in different TV roles - Dr Who, Downton etc
Jamie Oliver - 30-second breakfast for teenagers
Boris Johnson being a baked bean
Daily Mail special report on why your parents hate Britain (and your aunt)
Interview re new saints
NASA and 3D printer
National Trust hosting unusual events eg foam party with Dappy
Bridget Jones's Diary (wish I hadn't bothered with Larry the cat's diary this week...)
Newsjack shop - video games for Chinese market, including Super Maorio (his special move is a great leap forward - genius!)
HM Brixton restaurant - woman sits behind glass screen.
Netanyahu courting Obama (Justin sings!)
Pilots sleeping
What to do with dead bodies when cemeteries full up (with my one-liner in Justin's intro - yay!)

There are more, I'm sure.

One-liners:
Sorry, I'm totally feeble on these but some more may come back to me:
chocolate medals at 2012
something about plaque and 2012
animal print banned at Chessington
kids and alcohol - Justin being pissed.

Viv

I wish you hadn't posted that.
My one liners (and sketches) were so rubbish this week that I wasn't even going to check my e mail
But I did send a one liner about 2012 & plaque.
Damn you Riddoooooccccchhhh!!
:D

Well done if it is your plaque joke Steve!

Any tedious NHS protest/4 hour rule gags are mine....

Fingers crossed, Steve.

Just remembered: there was another sketch with a couple getting married but it can't go ahead because she's gone into the next tax bracket.

Also a sketch about a writer who was bad at women's parts (stop it).
And a great joke about a phone being in 'airplane mode'.

Mike

Lewis Macleod was simply excellent entertainment... again.

He makes me want to write sketches that show off his vocal talents - whether they are topical or not!

Quote: V Riddoch @ October 2 2013, 9:14 PM BST

Evening, folks

Great show tonight. Here's a list of what I can remember:

Intro - why none of the cast can host show because all their dads hate Britain
Running gag with Danny Dyer in different TV roles - Dr Who, Downton etc
Jamie Oliver - 30-second breakfast for teenagers
Boris Johnson being a baked bean
Daily Mail special report on why your parents hate Britain (and your aunt)
Interview re new saints
NASA and 3D printer
National Trust hosting unusual events eg foam party with Dappy
Bridget Jones's Diary (wish I hadn't bothered with Larry the cat's diary this week...)
Newsjack shop - video games for Chinese market, including Super Maorio (his special move is a great leap forward - genius!)
HM Brixton restaurant - woman sits behind glass screen.
Netanyahu courting Obama (Justin sings!)
Pilots sleeping
What to do with dead bodies when cemeteries full up (with my one-liner in Justin's intro - yay!)

There are more, I'm sure.

One-liners:
Sorry, I'm totally feeble on these but some more may come back to me:
chocolate medals at 2012
something about plaque and 2012
animal print banned at Chessington
kids and alcohol - Justin being pissed.

Viv

See now I was quite happy to ponder at the back of my mind if anything of mine had got in, waiting until 5.30 for a definite answer. But now you madam with your helpfulness have got me all in a tizz wondering if some of those are mine. I might need sedating.

I did a dead bodies in cemeteries list sketch, stuff about the bedroom tax and keanu reeves in there, perhaps we have unknowingly collaborated if your one liner was in the intro.

I also did a pilots sleeping one that ended up flew to the wrong country (trying to be vague not to ruin it if it did get in) and a phone call where obama and rouhani were flirty, oh and some spanish siesta old timey instructional thing. Any of that ring a bell?

My one liner may be in your list too if the chessingtons one referred to the proprietor of a certain gentlemans club. Really hoping my monet art in schools joke and bread/milk price farage joke got in though they were my favourites.

Good luck all!

Quote: V Riddoch @ October 2 2013, 9:14 PM BST

Evening, folks

Great show tonight. Here's a list of what I can remember:

.............

One-liners:
Sorry, I'm totally feeble on these but some more may come back to me:
chocolate medals at 2012
something about plaque and 2012
animal print banned at Chessington
kids and alcohol - Justin being pissed.

Viv

Thank you Viv - although... I did a one liner about Chessington/animal prints so I'll now be on tentahooks all day, even though they probably received a dozen on the topic!

:D

Thanks Viv, very well memorised!

We need to find someone with an eidetic memory and club together to send them to each recording.

I wrote one about china and computer games, so that might be mine (crossing all available body parts) - but I didn't write that Maorio line, so I suspect if it is mine it has been taken and improved upon out of all recognition.

I wrote one about sleeping pilots a few series ago so it will be interesting to hear one from another angle - although it's a bit worrying that the story crops up so often in the news.

The Danny Dyer as Dr Who and Boris stuff was excellent. It may not have started as brilliant material but It's great that they see the potential and really give it life. Lewis makes it really fun to watch being recorded. Well they all do.

I just remembered a sketch about Icelandic Blind Date. A good joke in that one.

Also, talking of good jokes:
'A Chinese man had a new nose grown on his forehead. How does he smell?'

I won't give away the excellent punchline as I think it will make it in tonight. It's not mine by the way.

Quote: ash williamson @ October 3 2013, 9:19 AM BST

I also did a pilots sleeping one that ended up flew to the wrong country (trying to be vague not to ruin it if it did get in) and a phone call where obama and rouhani were flirty, oh and some spanish siesta old timey instructional thing. Any of that ring a bell?

My one liner may be in your list too if the chessingtons one referred to the proprietor of a certain gentlemans club. Really hoping my monet art in schools joke and bread/milk price farage joke got in though they were my favourites.

Good luck all!

Sorry... I don't think any of above did. Obama/Rouhani sketch that made it was a jealousy thing and beautifully delivered by Justin Edwards (both in take 1 and the re-take).

Pilots sleeping had a different take.

None of the others ring bells.

All about a bit of luck too, with the amount of stuff they get - there's no way they read every single sketch...