Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 6th October 2023, 5:07 PM

Yet another popstress poses nude out here - Elodie this time - and yet again I don't give a f**k. Wow, a woman using sex to sell!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What WILL they think of next? Plus if I'm on Facebook, I'm one click away from downloading proper porn with my free hand, right? So take my advice lads, knock one out over the real thing in the morning and then you're good for the day. And don't feed me that new feminist bollocks about women reasserting control of their bodies. This is pure tack.

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Thanks Mike

Now here's Bob with the weather

That reminds me... The other day, I told a guy my surname is 'Monkhouse'. Quick as a whip, like without thinkin' 'bout it or nuttin', he quipped, 'Like Bob?' It took a while to sink in but then I understood - yes... Bob, BOB MONKHOUSE! Well bugger me, it's the same name: Michael MONKHOUSE - BOB MONKHOUSE!!!! No one has EVER pointed that out before. Well done! Keep up the standard.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 6th October 2023, 5:49 PM

That reminds me... The other day, I told a guy my surname is 'Monkhouse'. Quick as a whip, like without thinkin' 'bout it or nuttin', he quipped, 'Like Bob?' It took a while to sink in but then I understood - yes... Bob, BOB MONKHOUSE! Well bugger me, it's the same name: Michael MONKHOUSE - BOB MONKHOUSE!!!! No one has EVER pointed that out before. Well done! Keep up the standard.

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I see, that's very interesting sir but the library is closing.

Bob Monkhouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Michael.... Monkhouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And BOB.... Monkhouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One is a cheap monastery - the other is a foul mouthed C**T.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 6th October 2023, 5:49 PM

That reminds me... The other day, I told a guy my surname is 'Monkhouse'. Quick as a whip, like without thinkin' 'bout it or nuttin', he quipped, 'Like Bob?' It took a while to sink in but then I understood - yes... Bob, BOB MONKHOUSE! Well bugger me, it's the same name: Michael MONKHOUSE - BOB MONKHOUSE!!!! No one has EVER pointed that out before. Well done! Keep up the standard.

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Had the same thing all my life. After being asked my name the usual quip is 'and are you?
I feign ignorance 'am I what?
They then explain their witty pun, thrilled that they are the first to think of it.

Yup. These days I just give people the opportunity to say it and then shut the f**k up.

I share my first name with a certain cartoon character that had a magic torch so I used to get that a lot but not anymore. It's become a more common name and I don't think many people even remember the show now. It's irritating because making a joke out of someone's name is just so predictable and unoriginal it makes them look a bit of a Colin Hunt.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 8th October 2023, 5:27 PM

I share my first name with a certain cartoon character that had a magic torch so I used to get that a lot but not anymore. It's become a more common name and I don't think many people even remember the show now. It's irritating because making a joke out of someone's name is just so predictable and unoriginal it makes them look a bit of a Colin Hunt.

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Your first name is Torchy the Battery Boy?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 8th October 2023, 9:58 AM

Had the same thing all my life. After being asked my name the usual quip is 'and are you?
I feign ignorance 'am I what?
They then explain their witty pun, thrilled that they are the first to think of it.

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Not even a pun, is it? Just total and utter f**king shit.
I know everyone did this, but first time I read, 'Pop star Jesse McCartney', I thought, 'Wow - is he related?' So I did some googlin' and turns out No, we aren't.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 8th October 2023, 5:47 PM

Your first name is Torchy the Battery Boy?

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You beat me to it.

School-run mothers who collectively block the roads around schools from 08:30 to 09:15.
It's total gridlock where I live.
Zig-zag lines and double yellows are of no consequence to get their little darlings as near the school as possible.
Then opening the car doors on the off-side for the kids to jump out in the middle of the road because you are too lazy to walk around to the pavement side.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 16th October 2023, 7:58 AM

School-run mothers

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You must live in a mirror to me - cul-de-sac with a jitty through to the 'local' infants/junior schools. Absolute chaos every morning and afternoon. Every car - fortunately leased company or motability - I've owned since living here has been clipped at some time.

I have to time my departures/returns to avoid the buggers

Toilet paper. Soap. Water... You may find one. You may find two. But you will NEVER find all three in a bar toilet in Rome.

I'm still livid that every time I look up a band's tickets those criminals at Viagogo always come up first.
I thought they'd were being investigated years ago. They must be paying Google a lot of money for that to still to happen.