Will Cam is so hairy he has stubble on his teeth.

Being an avid nut collector, or nutter as his friends call him, Playful decided to have a go at hibernating. It was six months before his colleagues at Rexham Council noticed.

Nick Nockerty used to think that the 'fast forward' & 'rewind' buttons on his TV remote control were a form of time travel. It took many years of intensive psychotherapy to finally convince him this was not true.

However he is not too concerned as he has just discovered the key to immortality - or the 'pause' button...

As a child Playful dreamed of being a toboggan champion. He once cover himself in vaseline and slide down the bathtub. It did however take him 3 months to get back out.

Nick is so unpopular that he has to put his clothes and shoes on back to front so that his "friends" think he is walking away from them.

Herc, was the inspiration for the male character in a Barbara Cartland Mills and Boon novel.

Strumpet

Well, I am well endowed.

Being a method Actor, when researching a part as the "Big Cheese" Hercules once spent 3 weeks on a shelf in Liddle being a piece of Stilton. No amount of yellow stickers would shift him. Then one day a 19 year old shop assistant mistook him for stale cheddar and he was given to homeless people. He remains there to this day, under the Railway Archers in East Cheam.

As part of his Sunday best apparel, Nick wears a pair of ladies crotchless frilly knickers.

Herc is the UK's leading supplier of ladies crotchless frilly knickers.

Which 'Dog Collar' Will sells under the brand name 'Holy Knickers'...

Playful has three knees, one on each leg and one on his neck. Kids being kids, you would have thought his nick-name at school would have been knee-neck. Strangely his nick-name was elbow-neck. Kids in the main are thick little f**kers, aren't they?

Will Cam only has one knee, so at school his nick name was "knee jerk". Since moving to East London he is now know as Knee's up mother Brown, on account of an accident he had.

Nick's "friends" he plays pocket billiards with are called Tom, Dick and Hairy.

Until recently HGT worked as the lift man on the BBC's Dragons Den. He used to delight in asking the prospective pitchers what they were demonstrating, then saying "That's nice, a bloke brought one just like that in last week." Or "I saw one of them reduced in B&Q."

He was eventually sacked after being overheard advising one pitcher that "The best way to overcome your nerves was to imagine all the Dragons were naked, except for that Deborah Meaden of course - if you want to keep your lunch down."