Will Cam has a signed jock-strap he filched David Beckham, which he won't wash because he likes to sniff it now and then.

Being a good inch over 6' 7" tall HGT is often being asked with a nudge and a wink if he is "all in proportion?" In answer to which he often drops his kecks and points out if he was he would in fact be over 9' tall!

This is not only how he met the Missus HGT but also how he lost his job as a lollipop man.

Playfull's claim to fame was he once gave Will Hay a hand job, back in the day when he was a manicurist. However it turned out not to be Will Hay but some unknown called Handcock.

Nick Nockerty is really Nick Knowles putting on a posh voice and a frock.

Maurice re-wired his Sega Mega Drive using a chocolate biscuit. What a Walter!

Quote: Will Cam @ 23rd June 2015, 4:00 PM BST

Maurice re-wired his Sega Mega Drive using a chocolate biscuit. What a Walter!

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McVitie's plain chocolate digestive? Umm, my favourite.

(Don't think the milk chocolate one has the same conductivity anyway)

HGT thought that a Sega Mega Drive was a caravanning holiday for the over fifties.

Maurice Mynah, known as M&M to his rapping friends, is a bad ass. He has an ASBO for abandoning a coach load of pensioners in a field just outside Accrington Stanley, with nothing but a can of red bull and a Sega Mega drive.

Nick Nockerty told me that HGT told him that Will Cam said that Maurice Mynah is actually Michael McIntyre! After THAT career ending appearance on Graham Norton even his agent grew a beard and changed her phone number. He is now desperately searching for people to walk quickly back and forth in front of - making Parraph noises.

For god's sake If you see him approaching on this forum run and hide in 'critique' or 'introductions'.........you have been warned.

Playfull once smashed his Sega Mega Drive into lots of small pieces, before realising it was a 16 bit machine not 32.

Nick is so obsessed with the Sega Mega Drive, he is having to have electric shock treatment for it at his local Boots chemists.

HGT likes to put a rubber sheet on the bed, shave ALL his bodily hair off and cover himself in baby oil prior to any romantic interlude with the Missus HGT. This causes him to slide about laughing hysterically as she struggles to get to grips with him - let alone trying to keep him on the bed. It also means that any actual coupling is usually both brief and accidental.

In order to counter this she has bought a second hand council gritter which she intends to sneak in during foreplay.

Playfull has an invisible friend called Richard, and is often heard interacting with him in the bathroom.

Strumpet has a cardigan knitted entirely from umbilical cords.

Will Cam is a motorway enthusiast or roadie as he prefers to be called. He spent the whole of yesterday celebrating the 9 year anniversary of the reopening of Junction 5a on the M6.