The Kennedys

The Kennedys are going on their very first family holiday - camping in the Gower peninsula. What could possibly go wrong?

For the first time in his life, Tony has got his own way. He's taking the family camping to Wales and they're not going alone. Tim and Jenny will be joining them for their honeymoon and they'll be picking up Tony's mother, Mam on the way. She's a bereaved diabetic with a heart condition. What could possibly go wrong?

Tony teaches Emma the glory of the holiday pack. Bessie is packed to bursting but there seems to be a problem with the starter motor. It'll be fine. As long as they don't stop.

They arrive in Treherbert to pick Mam up. Brenda has to leap from the car so that Tony doesn't have to stop it. Mam has to get into a moving vehicle. She manages and off they go to Solva. Mam takes no time in making her feelings about Brenda plain. "She didn't let my Anthony go on a honeymoon. Feminist."

They arrive at Solva campsite only to find that they appear to be the only people there. "This is how horror films start" quips Tim. Little do they know it but the campsite has been evacuated. The worst storm to hit the Gower peninsula is very much on its way...

Tim has forgotten to pack a tent for him and Jenny so everyone is forced to huddle together in the one tent. There's nothing to do so for entertainment, they all take it in turns to have a wee in the communal bucket. Emma has a go but doesn't realise her circumference is smaller than the diameter of the bucket. She sits down only for her knees to concertina up into her chest. She sinks downwards and lets out a yelp like cubs down wells might make. Rocking on uneven ground, the bucket with Emma in it tips over covering her in pee. She's stripped down and told to run round in the rain to clean up. As she dashes back in to be dried down Mam says "Well, it could have been worse. I could have had a shit."

The weather is worsening so Tony decides to break into a caravan. The window is flapping and he shoves Emma through the gap so she can unlock the caravan door. They all race to get into it but the window blows in. The adults all rush to the window to try and put it back in place but the effect of five adults running suddenly down one end of a caravan is catastrophic. The caravan comes off its bricks and yaws upwards. They all leap from the caravan and watch, horrified, as the caravan slides off over the end of the cliff.

"I am never coming on holiday with you again," says Mam, much to Brenda's delight.