Frankie Boyle has announced a big tour of his Lap Of Shame show for next year, promising his usual blend of abrasiveness and darkly cynical nihilism. Before all that though, he's taking one lucky punter water sliding and eating ice cream!

Boyle is one of a number of celebrities to contribute to a silent auction for Garnetbank Primary School in Glasgow, home to a high number of children living below the poverty line and in temporary accommodation.

With a starting price of £200, the Glaswegian comic is pledging to take the highest bidder for a day riding the flumes at the Time Capsule pool in nearby Coatbridge, with the opportunity to "go for an ice cream after. Any ice cream you want. Double-nougat; single-nougat; oyster; wafer; or 99".

The auction, organised by Mogwai guitarist Barry Burns, whose daughter attends the school, opens on 10th November. It also features lots from Greg McHugh, with memorabilia including signed Gary: Tank Commander scripts; Still Game stars Greg Hemphill, Ford Kiernan, Sanjeev Kohli and Paul Young; Two Doors Down's Elaine C Smith; Miriam Margoyles and viral online comic Paul Black.

Bidding will run on the 32 Auctions website.

Meanwhile, Boyle has committed to at least 52 dates of Lap Of Shame around the UK, starting with Newcastle's Tyne Theatre and Opera House on 27th February.

Performed at this year's Edinburgh Fringe, the show's promotional blurb encourages audiences to "buy a ticket, because by the time he arrives, the currency will be worthless and you and your neighbours part of a struggling militia that could probably use a few laughs".

Tickets are on sale now.