The fast and the bicurious.

Vin Diesel chases Louise Spence at hi speed.

Quote: sootyj @ June 28 2010, 2:52 PM BST

The fast and the bicurious.

Vin Diesel chases Louise Spence at hi speed.

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The P&O

Deaf Scottish Mute Holly Hunter is shipped off to an arranged marriage with Sam Neil. Hull to Rotterdam is the first leg where she meets harvey Keitel who gets all randy and that.

Prisoner Cellblock H from Steps.

H from Steps is mistaken for a girly and has an unpleasant time in a prison for Australian munters.

Jason and the Margonaugts

Ray Harryhausen's Claymation masterpiece. Jason sets of to find the Golden Fleece accompanied by 70's posh-tott Penelope Keith.

"Gerry, If these skeletons are not off our property in 5 minutes I shall be forced to ring the Chief Constable. There's no point being the coordinator for home-watch, if you just sit around, and put up with this sort of anti-social behavior."

Dye Hard
Bruce Willis has to save his white singlet from sweat stains.

My Big Fat Greek Beheading.
Like the original but with Al Quaeda.

Pan's Labia

Guillermo del Toro's stylish vulvic fantasy.

3 Men and a Little Laddie.

Danson, Sellick and Guttenburg are back. The 'left on the doorstep' comedy foil this time is femme-transvestite Jimmy Krankie. Film executives push the franchise too far. Fan-Dabby-Dozy indeed!

Things To Do In Denver When He's Dead

Follow the story of Chromo the bacteria as he travels through the corpse of John Denver on a voyage of self discovery. Will he save his friends and find true love before his host is cremated?

Now in 3D.

Things To Do In Devon When You're Dead
Zombie movie where the locals scare the shit out of the zombies and threaten to make them alive in the arse end of nowhere.

Dan

Things to do in John Denver when your Right said Fred.

Seminal 80s gay pop band are shrunk to microscopic size and are injected into folk singer. Who wasn't as good as flying an aeroplane as he thought he was.

That or they find his twisted remains and sodomise them.

Which evers funnier.

A horror movie where the killer revives the dead.

Monsoon Bedding

Lots of sex in India during a Monsoon.

Bassoon Wedding
Some woodwind tie the knot in inanimate love story of symphonic proportions. Casting includes the mahogany Kevin Costner and Balsawood's very own Val Kilmer.

Siegfried Sassoon Wedding
The war poet ruins his own nuptials by going all melancholy and bringing the whole party down completely.

Vidal Sassoon Wedding
Excruciatingly long wedding movie where everyone has fabulous hair but not much else.

Dan

Onespoon wedding.
A Catering cock up means that everyone exceopt the bride has to eat their Ice Cream with a Fork.

Things to do in Denver when You're Dodd.
Kens in the USA & it's a beautiful day for sightseeing.

Stunboon Wedding
Indian wedding so impressive it leaves Micheal Elphick lost for words

Baboon Wedding
Katie Price really wants that Hello exclusive.