The Bells of St Trinny-n-Susannah.

They exhausted the scruffy housewife market, now the fit one with the small boobs and the ropey one with the big boobs are back on the big screen! To save their old school the girls devise a plan to tap into the niche market of internet porn (apparently there are a few websites around where you can find pictures of naked ladies?).

While being secretly filmed, women are taken at ramdom off the street, made to wear nothing but stockings and a straw boater whilst ringing handbells. If pencils placed under their udders don't fall out, they're officialy hot tottie and given £50 Etam vouchers.

Good old harmles big screen candid camera type humour.

The Balls of Trinny'n'Susannah
Hilarious romp of how Trinny went from transvestite to full-on transexual.

The Bill: St Trinians
Big-screen attempt to bring back the popular Police soap opera by setting it in the universe of those crazy far-too-old-to-be-proper schoolgirls, some of whom are in a band.

The Great Terrain Robbery
Historical epic about changing last borders after the World Wars. Tedious, despite the inclusion of Russell Brand, for no known reason.

Dan

The Dells of St Trinains
Oh those mischevious computers!

Days of Chunder
Tom Cruise vomit epic.

Tropic Chunder
Buffet-left-out-a-bit-too-long honeymoon epic

Dan

Bez
Sensitive northern drama from the 70s about school lad. His only chum a drug addled marraca player from the Happy Mondays.
Wheep when he's found dead in a dustbin.

Quote: Will Cam @ June 30 2010, 1:12 PM BST

£50 Etam vouchers.

View original

I don't know why that's so funny...

Oh what a lovely whore!

Dicky Attenborough musical about Katie Price. The many poor souls stuck in her trench.

Jurassic Parkour
French loonies remake dinosaur epic but set it in a town centre and run away from big, scary lizards by jumping off tall buildings and running down multi-storey car parks.

Bad Boyce
When the Driscoll Brothers finally track him down to his farm in Shropshire, Aubrey Boyce, Marlene and Tyler are forced into the witness protection programme in America where he teams up with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to reboot their very own franchise. Humourously odd, three's-a-crowd story with Martin Lawrence jealous of Will and Boycie's relationship. Featuring David Jason reprising his role as that drug-dealer that looked just like Del-Boy in Only Fools and Horses' 'Miami Twice' episode.

Dragon's Denzil
Fed-up with his increasingly-worse franchise with Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan returns to China and finds himself embroiled in a ridiculous Triad plot with Denzil from Only Fools And Horses. He only bought some hookey tracksuits from a mush in Shepherd's Bush and now he's going to pay for it. With his *life*!

Dan

Quote: zooo @ June 30 2010, 3:35 PM BST

I don't know why that's so funny...

View original

I saw peter Kay last month at the manchester Evening News arena. One of the advertising hoarding still up was for Etam.

Nostalgia = potential comedy

Quote: sootyj @ June 30 2010, 3:34 PM BST

Bez
Sensitive northern drama from the 70s about school lad. His only chum a drug addled marraca player from the Happy Mondays.
Wheep when he's found dead in a dustbin.

View original

Quote: swerytd @ June 30 2010, 3:51 PM BST

Jurassic Parkour
French loonies remake dinosaur epic but set it in a town centre and run away from big, scary lizards by jumping off tall buildings and running down multi-storey car parks.

[

View original

Star Shrek
Ogre, space exploration, I dunno sounds good though.

Brand Torino
Clint Eastwood is an embittered war vet protecting his most prized posession from fanatical Fawlty Towers fans. A 2010 lanky sex mad, standup who the yanks seem to like.

Sparticouscous

A Thracian of Nomadic stock, enslaved by the Romans and forced to fight as a gladiator. Famed for his fight against oppression. Who can forget the loyalty shown to him by his followers:

"I am a semolina based product"

"No! I am a semolina based product"

Barticus

Eat my short!
No eat my shorts!

Farticus

"I've dropped my guts"

"No. I've dropped my guts"

Sharticus

"I've done fart+"

"No. I've done fart+"

ArtyFartyCus

I'm ArtyFartyCus.

Aren't we all dear.

Spa tic us

"We went for a wellness session and got Lyme Disease"

"No. We went for a wellness session and got Lyme Disease"

Bra-ticus

"I like man boobies"

"No, I like.......? you dirty bastard!"