The funniest ever joke ever on TV ever? Page 7



  • Monday 20th June 2011, 6:51pm
  • Southampton, England
  • 1,548 posts

An old school one from can't remember:

"I bought one of those new-fangled deodorants the other day, but when I got home, I couldn't work out how it worked for the life of me! So I looked at the instructions on the label, where it said: 'Take off cap and push up bottom.'
Now.. there's just one thing that I don't get: how the hell did they know I was wearing a cap?"

And a more recent effort from one S.Francis:

"My favourite sexual fantasy would be to make love to Sigmund Freud's Father... MOTHER!! MOTHER!! I meant Mother!


Frimston and Rowett

  • Monday 20th June 2011, 10:40pm
  • 15 posts

It only works because of the very lengthy (and deadly serious) set-up, but Patrick's 'I was TALKING about me!' from the end of series 3 of Coupling remains one of the funniest sitcom lines I've yet seen.


Lost Boys

  • Tuesday 21st June 2011, 9:07pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 124 posts

One that made me howl was from the pub quiz in Phoenix Nights. The answers are being read out

"Number 4, The Shroud of Turin"
(collective groan)
"What did we put?"
"Lisa Stansfield"



  • Tuesday 21st June 2011, 9:27pm
  • Nowhere, England
  • 9,798 posts

That reminds me of the quiz in The Office

question was who was the Cuban leader

Brent had to shamefully admit he answered Fray Bentos

lmfao !



  • Wednesday 22nd June 2011, 2:29pm
  • Southampton, England
  • 1,548 posts
Quote: lofthouse @ June 21 2011, 9:27 PM BST

.. who was the Cuban leader?

.. Fray Bentos


Wasn't there a Jade Goody (unintentional) one about "East Angular" being in "Belgian"?

Or something like that..??



  • Friday 27th April 2012, 4:53pm
  • Norwich, England
  • 1,059 posts
Quote: Percival Marsh @ April 6 2011, 11:39 AM BST

Funniest ever? Not sure.

However, not a TV show but one that gets me every time is Leslie Nielson's, "Nice beaver" line in Naked Gun. :D

I like Drebin's little story in this scene but it's the classic 'Sorry to trouble you. We would have come earlier but your husband wasn't dead then'.

Perfect combination of writing and performance.



  • Friday 27th April 2012, 5:17pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 69,195 posts

Whoever *actually* said that quote is a bit of a twat.



  • Saturday 28th April 2012, 12:13am
  • London, England
  • 4,987 posts

Heh, it was Louis CK, I think he was saying it in an affectionate way :)



  • Saturday 28th April 2012, 12:32am
  • United Kingdom
  • 69,195 posts

Ah, as long as it wasn't one of those angry '80s morons.



  • Saturday 28th April 2012, 8:59am [Edited]
  • Adelaide, Australia
  • 43 posts

wow, this has to be the most brain racking question, it involves going through memories upon memories of my brain hurts now you bastard...

and yet I still sit here thinking..... ggggeeeezzzzz ..

um....some of the funniest parts are all skits from 20 minutes of setting the joke up piece by piece so that the conclusion is just deeper than you can imagine, eg with the episode of peep show and mummy, each joke lands them deeper and deeper until you're left wondering what and where could they possibly go next and that's why I believe the peep show is the best comedy ever written thanks to it's brutal honesty.

but, a 1 liner or a 2 liner which has it's own merit, sit coms don't do it with the exception to family guy where it can go it's own entire joke, because the jokes are in your face, 0-1% thinking time required to watch family, it's just punchline after punchline of really quite terrible jokes, but that aside (american dad is better... whistles) ...

even the funniest memories of panel shows, you'll find 9/10 it's the same re-used joke on someone they don't 'like' .... until eventually the other one bites and it's ooooOOOOOOoooooo and people are at home cracking up over the childnish level but with nicely injected wit and political view, never mind the buzzcock to the same extent minus the wit.

so it's difficult, which leads me stand ups...

So Jimmy Carr it has to be because he's the current champ for 1 liner's.

just jump to (3:29/7:53)

Is my favourite set of gags from him, tell me you don't laugh once, esp the birthday gift :D - lol cracking up just thinking about that set.


William Purry

  • Saturday 28th April 2012, 12:11pm
  • England
  • 443 posts

"I've conquered moons, you bastard!" Emperor Boswellox in Blunder.


Big Jack

  • Sunday 29th April 2012, 1:52am
  • England
  • 467 posts

The funniest joke ever on TV ever.

"They think it's all over". There is a clip of a Spanish football ground during a game - there is a goal and the crowd erupts. Camera highlights two fans going mental, in front of them is an open milk carton.

Nick Hancock asks the question "what is going on in the clip?"

After much false start and incorrectitude the answer is revealed. The father of one of the fans died and requested that his son continue to take his ashes to the game. However, for health & safety reasons the club would not let the son bring a glass urn into the ground. So the son put his Dad's ashes in a milk carton and took him to every game...

Nick Hancock "It's coming to something when you can't even take a bottle of pop into a football match."


And me too

  • Monday 7th May 2012, 12:26am
  • Var 83, France
  • 2 posts

Not Going Out....

'But you said Milton Keynes is full of psychopaths'....

'No I didn't....I said it's full of cycle paths'....