Bill lives in a raspberry bush with a small hen called Audrey

And lofthouse is my au pair. We have some fun times under that bush.

Bil Jaguar is playing lead turnip in an avant garde (and vegetable heavy) remake of Gone with the Wind.

Is stood outside the front of my house right now

STOP SWINGING ON THAT BLOODY GATE

sodding nuisance

Tuumble wishes, that one day for just 1 minute, he would attain his dream of becoming an underwater monk.

Bill Jaguar was the creator of the classic HD test transmission on the BBC HD channel, for which he won three Bafta's including one for "best special effects" in a test transmission.

Quote: Bill Jaguar @ June 23 2011, 11:10 PM BST

Sorry to be quite childish, but would you kindly prove that it has happened? At all if possible.

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Proving infinity to a finite being is impossible.

Brian Brane once tried to walk into a fancy restaurant while naked, unfortunately he wasn't allowed in becuase he didn't have a tie on. He then tried to go into a gay bar, still naked, and was again rejected. Although ironically or farcically, it was because they didn't like people going in the rear entrance.

Quote: Brian Brane @ July 2 2011, 6:18 AM BST

Proving infinity to a finite being is impossible.

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I'm sorry, but I don't believe a word of it, all it needs is to be explored, or there is probably no such thing.

Fact 1. Bill Jaguar tries to pull the chicks as he cruises around Cleethorpes in his '77 Gold Ford Granada - as 'Mud's Greatest Hits' belts out of his 8 track player.

Fact 2. Bill Jaguar is still a virgin.

Juan Kerr is my PA... I like it when he wears short skirts and low cut tops.

To win a bet, Ellie once went out with a bluebottle for a year.

Chip has been awarded grade II listed building status

roscoff once felt a little low, so he decided he would get out of the hole he dug himself and climb on top of a building. He then casually jumped off and discovered that there was no such thing as gravity for the depressed masses.

Bill Jaguar is a schizophrenic spaniard in a New Zealander's body. He used to live in Wales and has developed a phobia of Tom Jones and vowels.

Bill Jaguar has nipples like teapot lids.

404 Not Found was once Captain of Manchester United. However he was made redundant when they became a football team.