My "on your hind legs" comment I admit was not my own.
It was from my late uncle who was also my surrogate grandfather and my genuine godfather. He lost his first wife early on to asthma when she was 45. Then he met a woman who had been through similar trauma with her husband who had died and she was struggling with a daughter who kept nicking milk off people's doorsteps. His second wife, then, and she was a bit of a good time girl who had been raised in children's homes. Very loud and cockney.
Massive bosom but then again massive frame. Massive vocals and lungs. Massive everything. Ultimately she divorced him when they were in their mid 80s as she said she was furious that he had turned into an old man and it was all his fault. Anyhow, her name was Mary so his actual phrase which was always reeled out as my mild father had put his pyjamas on at half past seven to indicate that they had stopped long after his natural bedtime was "up on your hind legs Mare". She would immediately jump off her chair with the cue.
Then they would leave to go back to Peckham and as soon as he had waved them a friendly goodbye, Dad would change back into his day clothing to watch TV until half past midnight. I hadn't ever thought of the sexual connotation to it until this day actually - and I am damned sure that my parents never did - but obviously they very much enjoyed doing it doggy style or perhaps more accurately along the lines of "My Not So Little Pony". Him and her until his rampant erections - even though he was only 5 foot 3 and had the weight of a jockey - tailed off at life's Beechers Brook - if not before.
I can see this now. Probably because he taught me the facts of life when after making me try to become an Olympic rower on Frensham ponds at age 2, he basically while sucking on a lozenge said in his Austin A40 van (which he subsequently sold to my father who within 48 hours crashed on ice and turned into a write off) "look willies are very big news and in twelve years you will be oozing spunk up women aged 34 : aw my gawd blimey it's bleetin' wild mate but don't tell your mother I said this".
Also, "don't tell the wigs that I said it either as they are the last people who can be trusted". My hearing wasn't especially great at that age - I had Wallace and Gromits - so I think that is what he said although I was extremely surprised, I have to say, when he became a regular voter of the National Front. The irony being that he and my mother were like two peas in a pod in that regard. Only she voted Conservative.
I loved him to bits except for the racist part - which I don't want to go into, nor for the reason why he was murdered or who murdered him as morally I shouldn't have been given that conviction - but he was a huge influence on me in so many ways. Very, very positive......without him, I wouldn't have become the all rounded man I am today. I am just so sorry for people who are more brittle than I am. There is no need to blame yourselves.
Anyways, animal rights, yus.....what's the latest?
