Quote: davetwojackets @ 9th March 2016, 5:02 PM GMT

The milking cow on our farm was very quick on her feet. If you looked away just for a second she'd go past your eyes

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Popular writer took the outskirts to court. Sue Townsend.

The stars were beautiful last night.
The rain was sweet and cold.
The wind sang its lonely song.

I MUST fix that f**king hole in the roof!

***

My wife wrote my car off.
The mechanic asked me "Did you put fuel in it before she drove off?"
I said "Yes"
He said "There's your problem"

I bust my ass convicing my parents I'm gay.

So, I was walking down the street and a man came up to me and said;

"Why don't people in jokes walk up the street?"

In Spain they call me El Monkhouse. They take the mick out of my name.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 12th March 2016, 10:59 AM GMT

In Spain they call me El Monkhouse. They take the mick out of my name.

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So in Spain Reg would be El N. So the rumours about El N DeGeneres dressing like a man are true.

Take a coin out of your pocket and have a look at it.
If it's got my name on, it's mine.
What are you doing with my coin?

Quote: Reg N @ 14th March 2016, 5:04 PM GMT

Take a coin out of your pocket and have a look at it.
If it's got my name on, it's mine.
What are you doing with my coin?

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Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 12th March 2016, 10:59 AM GMT

In Spain they call me El Monkhouse. They take the mick out of my name.

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Ha!

48% of priests develop pedophile tendencies because they feel isolated and alone and lack the healthy outlet of marrage. The rest just like f**king kids.

Budget day joke

Why doesn't George Osborn have any Jewish friends ? Because if you like Osborn you're probably a complete prick.

If it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger

Obviously unless you are suffering with chronic muscular dystrophy

When porn actors prepare, do they need a dress rehearsal?

Inexperienced porn actors - up and coming.