Quotes

Derek: (after Maureen has said something to upset Wendy) "Now look what you've done, pregnancy is a very emotional time for a woman"
Maureen: "Especially on top of the menopause, it must be hormonal chaos in there!"

Maureen (Amelia Bullmore) in Series 4, Episode 1

Robin is in hospital in a coma after an accident at work. Derek and Maureen are trying to elicit a response from him and have brought various stimuli into the hospital. They are clipping crocodile clips onto Robin's unconscious body.

Maureen: "Oh Derek that does look painful..............can I do it?"

Maureen (Amelia Bullmore) in Series 3, Episode 3

Derek thinks he's been abducted by aliens and is explaining to Wendy the alien encounters he's been reading about on the internet.

Wendy: "I'm sorry Derek, but I just can't take all of this stuff seriously!"
Derek: "What you think we're alone do you?"
Wendy: "No, I just can't believe they keep nipping down here to hollow out cows, or jumping light years travelling through time and space to get you out of bed, transport you to the shopping centre and up-end you in a Flymo box?"

Wendy (Kay Stonham) in Series 4, Episode 4

Robin: "I never liked the Borrowers."
Wendy: "Oh I did."
Robin: "I've never seen the attraction of having small thieves secretly living in your house."
Wendy: "Oh it's a lovely story, it had a tremendous effect on me as a child."
Robin: "Yeah it had a tremendous effect on me as a child too, I went out and bought my first padlock."

Robin (Simon Greenall) in Series 1, Episode 2

Wendy "Anyway, this'll cheer you up, look, turkey dinosaur and baked beans"
Robin "Oh look, turkeys weren't around in the time of dinosaurs, you know I don't like historically inaccurate food"

Robin (Simon Greenall) in Series 2, Episode 1