Review: Comedy and curry night

The first Comedy and Curry night of the year didn't disappoint with host Tom Goodlife expertly introducing Ignacio Lopez, Matt Winning and Steve Hall.

The link between The Apprentice and Show Me the Funny was suddenly obvious. First, we have a competition for entrepreneurs who can't... entrepren. Then, on Show Me the Funny, we were introduced to a succession of comedian-contestants who weren't funny.

This "Show/Funny" thing, an attempt to find Britain's best new stand-up in six weeks, was a bizarrely cack-handed production, which didn't let us see any of the contestants be funny or even perform. During all their on-stage performances, someone called ]Jason Manford was being filmed in the wings, trying to be funny about the people out there failing to be funny, but who we couldn't see failing to be funny, which would have been more fun. Finally, funnily, we got one brief clip of a Spanish/Welsh chap managing to alienate a roomful of drunk Liverpudlian women. Ignacio Lopez got it wrong. He strode, swayed, rubbed his crotch, told them he was half-Welsh, half-Spanish, all sexy. "Some of you might recognise me as the barman you slept with two years ago in Magaluf! If you don't have my number, ask the lady on your left!" This was an audience which would have potentially weed itself at mention of the word "sausage", as ever-punchable guest judge Jimmy Tarbuck knows. Yet Liverpool is still strong on nuance, gentility and intent, and Liverpool hasn't been as quiet since the day after it was bombed. I'm surprised Lopez left alive. There were no contenders with wit other than the brave and lucky Ellie Taylor, who is also a former model. For some, life works.

With round one coming from Liverpool, it was only fitting that the empty chair be filled by Scouse royalty Jimmy Tarbuck.

Death by silence is a fate every stand-up must endure alone. And yet, paradoxically, the discomfort is shared by the audience, creating mutual embarrassment on a vast scale that makes for both an appalling spectacle and great TV.

Which leaves Show Me The Funny having its comedy cake and eating it. If a turn is funny - all well and good. If not - even better. My main complaint with the format is that they don't show us the funny soon enough.

It was a good 20 minutes before any of the comics took to the stage, having previously been sent onto the streets of Liverpool to meet the locals, collect material and perform designated pointless tasks. All of which was pure, unadulterated padding.

Come showtime, however, and the programme found its cold, clammy, nerve-wracked feet. The audience comprised 300 women who, we were led to believe, were capable of unspoken atrocities if offended. In truth, they emanated pure goodwill, which the first two acts did everything in their power to test attempting cod scouse accents.

However, third on the bill, Ellie Taylor, established an immediate rapport with her sisters out front and worked the room with a confidence that belied her novice status. Stuart Goldsmith's professionalism also set him apart and earned the praise of Tarby, no less. The rest were hard to judge, with most of their routines ending up on the cutting room floor. All except poor Ignacio Lopez, hung out to dry as an example of how not to do it.

Ignacio promised character comedy, but inexplicably dropped the character two sentences into his set without putting anything in its place. He was ignominiously booted out despite delivering by far the best opening line of the night: "Hello, I am Ignacio. Some of you may remember me as the barman you slept with in Magaluf two years ago".