Gein's Family Giftshop - Tour Blog 7
Sketch group Gein's Family Giftshop are in a reflective mood as their 2016 tour comes to an end...
It's over! It's finished! The whole thing's done and dusted and dead and buried and cut and dry and over and out! But it will always live on in our hearts and our heads and our genitals and our BLOG!
THIS BLOG! Even as our bodies and minds decay and dissolve, as our thoughts fade and our synapsis cease this blog will still be here, and as our bloodlines falter and stop and end in some far off lonely man's useless testicles or some totalitarian dystopia that only allows one child and that child can't have children for some reason, this blog will be sitting quietly in zeros and ones in the dark corner of the internet, and as the sun swallows the earth incinerating our bones and the palaces and the favelas, this blog will live on in its internet cocoon that will probably by then be travelling through space in radio waves, and our actions and our show will live on in some sort of Harlan Ellisonesque nightmare constantly bouncing around the eternal dark, a memory of the shadow of a thought. High praise indeed.
The last two shows were, in a sentence, on at the same times as the Euros [football]. Despite that, they were 'uckin' glorious, mate. We managed to bag a hero of ours who came to watch (Not Kath's dad, he didn't come), we managed to create the same environment as our first Edinburgh show (by environment we mean heat, it was the hottest room in Britain, 100%) we managed to remember most of it (a first) and we didn't die (a last). We also stopped for a really quick toilet on the way back so it only took 4 hours which is the quickest we've ever got back from London, ahh, the wonder years.
It feels utterly shit that we won't be able to show other people this show, as it's what we've poured everything into for the last 3 years, but it really has gone on for pure time and we're fucking sick of it. "Oooh, aren't bumholes and poo funny", grow up mate. Who opens on a dance? It's a disgrace.
Onwards and upwards then, time for the heroes of the piece to put their feet up: Ed and Kath, take a bow, sit down and have some shortbread. Jim and Kiri, time to put a shift in and write your own jokes for once in your bloody life. And that is what they did... those two soft saps will be doing their own "comedy" shows in "Edinburgh" to "audiences" for "critical" acclaim. I (who is this, they're all accounted for?) suggest you go and watch them (us?) in their (our?) hot boxes making strangers laugh and cry and hug. I've not seen their (our?!) shows, I don't know if that happens. If it doesn't, ask for your money back (God please don't... we/they can't afford it).
Thanks for having us in your minds, it's an incredibly intrusive thing to be in here so we respect that you've let us in and it's part of the reason we haven't made you imagine something awful like two big brown buttholes descending onto your thumbs or something. SEE YOU NEXT TOUR!
GFG
Thanks to the gang for writing the 'BLOGS'. See their solo shows in August at the Fringe: Kiri Pritchard-McLean: Hysterical Woman is at the Pleasance Courtyard at 6pm, and James Meehan - Class Act is at Just The Tonic at The Tron at 6:20pm.