Sketch group Gein's Family Giftshop are going to be sending us a few blogs as they tour around the country with their unique blend of dark humour. Here's their first report, written before they started out on their trip...
February 6th and 7th - Torrington & Exeter
Up first is Torrington. A quick search on Altavista reveals that it is actually called Great Torrington, and has the villages of Little Torrington and Black Torrington near by. We're presuming it's some sort of segregation thing.
We've never been this far south before (with the exception of Kath, who claims she visits Hell in her dreams) and it's really rather exciting. We've packed shorts and t-shirts and can't wait to hit the beaches!
At first we thought this venue was way too big for us. But the population of Torrington is 5,279 which means we only need a measly 4.5% of the town to come and see us, that's under half and over none. Doable.
On a side note, we have just found out about search engines and calculators, so are trying to use them more. 100% more. % means a number or ratio expressed as a fraction of 100.
Back to the main note: touring is already turning out to more stressful than we thought, as it turns out we have to go to the places we're touring... they do not come to us! It seems very strange, like a reverse Edinburgh Fringe or an invasion!
Still, we will be invading or "reverse fringing" Torrington on the 6th of February in a red OR green car depending on who is driving/how much blood we get on the green car. Either way it will be a lot of fun because we have already Altavista'd the best eateries so we can sit outside them and eat our KFC's.
We just found out (thank you search engines) that Exeter is (home of the brave, land of the free, and more importantly) fairly close to Torrington and therefore an easy drive.
Jim is already feeling uneasy as he has been "down south" for too long in his head so the actual journey and weekend there might "kill me northern charm"... the 'charm' is a rock solid barm cake. We keep showing him photos of Leyland Trucks' assembly line to make him feel at home, but he just sits there in nothing but a flat cap, scowling.
Exeter is even further south than Torrington. We're very excited as Kiri told us that in the deep south the water flushes the other way. Imagine that, a toilet that flushes upwards!
Good luck up north without us Manchester, we're going on a bear hunt, unfortunately we are terrified...
We'll have another update from the group soon. In the meantime, to find out more about them and where they'll be visiting, go to www.geinsfamilygiftshop.co.uk