Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 17th October 2015, 6:22 PM BST

Is it just me, or is Mel B's mole getting bigger and bigger? She must work for MI5.

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Mel B is preparing for her next string of hits, by getting back with her husband.

Melanie C, the hits come thick and fast. And so do I.

The only worthwhile gag about Mel C is one wrapped around her mouth.

As the priest said to the over-16, I shall not rise to that.

Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 19th October 2015, 5:00 PM BST

The only worthwhile gag about Mel C is one wrapped around her mouth.

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Sorry mate. Not a joke. She was the only one who could actually sing.

(And that's not a joke either!)

My computer must be hungry. It has 128 megabites.
(That was a joke so this post doesn't get wiped as 'off-topic': Melanie C has a gorgeous face and perfectly-honed body, plus she's managed 20 years in the biz without degenerating into arrogance, excess, grotesque plastic surgery or vulgarity. She's lovely and doesn't have to fellate slegehammers to prove it.)

Quote: Chappers @ 19th October 2015, 7:52 PM BST

Sorry mate. Not a joke. She was the only one who could actually sing.

(And that's not a joke either!)

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But she also talks. You may switch off before that happens, but trust me she talks.

I've not seen you drop a joke into this thread for a long while Chappers, go on you know you want to.

The doctor said, You may drink one glass of wine a day. So I made a 36-litre glass.
Guy from 'X Files' went to the dentist for an extraction. The tooth is out there.
What did Sid Vicious do at the orgy? C'mon everybody.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 20th October 2015, 10:07 PM BST

Guy from 'X Files' went to the dentist for an extraction. The tooth is out there.

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Do prefer your innocent jokes to your filthy ones, bigger surprise factor.

Heard the one about Eton? It's old school.

So I was carrying a big box of my favourite biscuits home from the shop, and I dropped it. They all broke.
That's the way.... my life goes sometimes.

My wife looked shocked when she saw the food colouring on my beer belly.
She shouted "I said you should DIET!"

Here is your first pirate elecution lesson.
Repeat after me, O R, O R...

Quote: Reg N @ 26th October 2015, 12:28 AM GMT

Here is your first pirate elecution lesson.
Repeat after me, O R, O R...

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I went out with a pirate. He said, 'Totally devoted to you.' - 'What?' - 'Me heart is.'
Berlusconi says he's a breast man. Tit for twat.
Why don't people get married Thurs to Tues? The sign says, Just Wed.

I don't understand gel, it goes right over my head.

I was staying at the Manhattan Hilton at the same time as Marilyn Monroe but I never came across her..

Two witches on broomsticks just flew past my window.
One screamed "AAAIIIEEE!"
The other one said "Another splinter Doris?"