Come on! Get it off your chest. Have you ever set anyone up, done something you maybe should'nt have. Lets have your confessions.
Names can be changed to protect the poor bastards you wronged.

Come on You get rid of me in 5 days for 2 whole weeks. Unless of course I get tinternet connection.

It will give me something to giggle about, other than my man's um er thingy. Which I have made sure I will defo be seeing more of this Holiday.

Heres one of mine.

When I was but a small cute thingy in first school, I used to get bullied by a Sarah Stevens. (real name). I am sure I have mentioned her before on here.
Anyhoo she would wee her knickers everyday and have to take them home in a clear plastic bag. On the way home she would jump me and my friend Amanda & rub her pissy knickers in our face. Then she would punch us both in the gut & ran off. This girl was huge. This went on for a few years till the stench in our noses became a constant smell of piss. I could never understand her. Why would she advertise "I pissed my self again & again for two whole years". Anywahey eventualy my friend & I got wise and battered her. End of the bullying.

When I was 12 I tried my first and only attempt at theft. I rammed a lipcote in my bag. I was caught & the police were called. When it came to giving my details I gave Pissy Steven's. I was told the officers were going to visit my parents later that day.

I didnt hear from Pissy Stevens for a few weeks. It was the summer holidays. Eventualy she turned up on the swing at the park, pissing as she swung. The police had informed her mother and she had been grounded.

Oh the Joy. From that day on, any trouble I did get into with the law I gave my details as Sarah Stevens. Nothing major. Just being drunk & disorderly, holding up Marlow high st, being gobby, yardey yarder. Eventualy though the game was up when Pissy was accused of something in Marlow wherte we lived, when she had been in Devon with her mum.
Luckily they didnt know it was me but I no longer had my false identity.
Shame that.
Anyhoo Pissy & I later became reasonably good friends. We both had babies. She pissed herself in labour.
Poor Gal will forever be known throughout Marlow where she still resides, as Pissy Stevens.

Pissy I am sorry for the 15 weeks you would have spent grounded for my wrongs.
NOT.........

Lets see...

JFK.
Diana.
9/11.
Bird Flu.
J.R.
WWII.
Monkeys.
And that shoe you always see hanging off telephone lines.

Oh you lickle liar. You have done bad things. What are they really, Huh Huh huh?

The highlight of Marlow High Street is Wimpy. Assuming it's still there.

I think it is Aaron. Did you not like the Chequers Public House?

Quote: charley rance @ May 1, 2007, 12:55 PM

Come on You get rid of me in 5 days for 2 whole weeks.

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Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.

Quote: charley rance @ May 1, 2007, 12:55 PM

Unless of course I get tinternet connection.

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Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Quote: charley rance @ May 1, 2007, 1:17 PM

I think it is Aaron. Did you not like the Chequers Public House?

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Last time I was there, if remember rightly, was on a school trip. And not of legal drinking age.

Not that I drink anyway.

I cheated at my science sat paper and my maths grading paper, i had to retake my science sat as i didn't get the grade i wanted, i got a "this paper is an insult to my inteligence and if iwas to waste ink on it i should be sacked from my job" i re-did it and got a "U" which meant ungraded, i was chuffed. Then in my G.C.S.E i got two B's

During my year 6 science SAT, our teacher walked around the room pointing out the answers to us.

Are you abandoning your poor little babies Charley - home alone while you go off with your fancy man? You should be arrested.

Incidentally I can just picture Pissy Stephens on the swing pissing as she swung.

David C.

It was horrendous. You should have seen the kids scurry when little Pissy Stevens was a swinging & a pissing.

Dont worry my babies are 20 & 17 now. Disgraceful that they are still here mind. I am sure the legal age to leave home is 5.

Yes - I agree. Mine are 27 and 24 and every time they go out we change the locks - but still they're here.

The best way to get rid I am told is to either move home or murder them. I cant be arsed to move so I guess it's choice no. two.

you know what me move out? ll of a sudden my mother was friendly to me cooked dinner gave compliments I am convinced the martians have body snatched her the house and I'll be damned it I'm getting a Martian probe stuck up my Arse, especially not so early in the week

Quote: charley rance @ May 1, 2007, 11:02 PM

The best way to get rid I am told is to either move home or murder them. I cant be arsed to move so I guess it's choice no. two.

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...and there rests teh case for the prosecution.

Quote: Aaron @ May 1, 2007, 6:08 PM

During my year 6 science SAT, our teacher walked around the room pointing out the answers to us.

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I have never passed an exam in my life.

Mind you, I did like Simon Munnerys' quote

"If you only ever read one book in your life, I recommend...you shut up"

I had a mate called Boris Maynard. Boris was like me, an outsider. Though I kidded myself I belonged, Boris was a little more brave.

One day his Mother had given him beef sandwiches, and Boris, being vegetarian (and not telling his Mum), said he would swap them with me if I bought him something in the tuck shop which was veggie. I bought him a penny chew (after eating his sandwiches. I have always felt guilty about it. He was a good lad. We could have been friends.

Also for some reason I made a lad who had one leg shorter than the other cry. I have no idea what I said and feel ashamed for such an action. I was a horrible person then, and became a total outsider to my peer group, although I think his sister, Glenda, fancied me.

I'm still as popular today.