The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 706

AvatarBCG Supporter

Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Monday 16th November 2020, 11:14pm
  • England
  • 17,961 posts

Can you do Rod Stewart?

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 16th November 2020, 6:05 PM

That's me in my Friday night out gear....granny hunting.

AvatarBCG Supporter

A Horseradish

  • Wednesday 25th November 2020, 11:39am [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,649 posts

Without the down to earth pull of the crowd, and the traditional mugs of bovril, football has increasingly become the sporting equivalent to Madonna's Vogue. It had already started with the pumping of fist and then rocking the baby, sucking the thumb and I am a tree goal celebrations. Now it is taking the knee, some or other goose stepping geezer with an invention called VAR drawing imaginary pictures of a television screen, so called players falling down dramatically next to the penalty box in a make believe accident involving a juggernaut and loads of other people just darting about on the wings pretending they are gazelles rather than actual human beings. Well, this sort of thing is all well and fine for the likes of Marcel Marceau in San Francisco but the question needs to be asked if the future really is strike the pose. Either it is in which case they no longer need a ball or it isn't in which case they need proper teaching in leg biting.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Chappers

  • Wednesday 25th November 2020, 7:18pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,535 posts

Maradona has died 15 years to the day after George Best.

AvatarBCG Supporter

A Horseradish

  • Wednesday 25th November 2020, 8:15pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,649 posts
Quote: Chappers @ 25th November 2020, 7:18 PM

Maradona has died 15 years to the day after George Best.

Yes - and equally coincidentally - exactly 900 years to the day since William Adelin, son and heir of Henry I of England, died in the White Ship tragedy trying to save his illegitimate half-sister the Countess of Perche while crossing the English Channel.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Chappers

  • Monday 30th November 2020, 8:50pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,535 posts

Well if Derby County don't progress to the next round of the FA Cup i fear that some likeable person will be out of a job.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Wednesday 9th December 2020, 3:02pm
  • England
  • 17,961 posts

Just in case this happens in a Sunday Pub League you may watch - apparently it would not have been a goal if the goalkeeper had not touched it..........................just thought that might settle any arguments

AvatarBCG Supporter

Chappers

  • Wednesday 9th December 2020, 5:43pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,535 posts
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th December 2020, 3:02 PM

Just in case this happens in a Sunday Pub League you may watch - apparently it would not have been a goal if the goalkeeper had not touched it..........................just thought that might settle any arguments

Everyone knows you can't score a goal from a throw-in - but I used to know that the ball has to go forward at a kick-off and it has to go out of the 18 yard box for any defensive free kick there before anyone can touch it.

AvatarBCG Supporter

Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Wednesday 9th December 2020, 11:50pm
  • England
  • 17,961 posts
Quote: Chappers @ 9th December 2020, 5:43 PM

Everyone knows you can't score a goal from a throw-in - but I used to know that the ball has to go forward at a kick-off and it has to go out of the 18 yard box for any defensive free kick there before anyone can touch it.

Fancy refereeing the Shingle Street Wanderers match next Sunday? £4.50 and free half an orange at half time.

Avatar

Billy Bunter

  • Thursday 10th December 2020, 10:26am
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,486 posts
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 9th December 2020, 11:50 PM

Fancy refereeing the Shingle Street Wanderers match next Sunday? £4.50 and free half an orange at half time.

I dd that every Sunday for 25 years. The fees have evidently increased since then though.

Avatar

Stephen Goodlad

  • Thursday 10th December 2020, 10:57am
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,886 posts

I played football for a local team in the 70's
I never envied the referee's job.
It often got physical....

Avatar

Billy Bunter

  • Thursday 10th December 2020, 2:42pm
  • The Sussex Coast, England
  • 1,486 posts
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 10th December 2020, 10:57 AM

I played football for a local team in the 70's
I never envied the referee's job.
It often got physical....

Football referee, National Insurance Inspector, HM Collector of Taxes, Wimbledon FC supporter, contributor to British Comedy Guide Forums... I've never courted popularity.

AvatarBCG Supporter

john tregorran

  • Friday 11th December 2020, 12:12am
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,668 posts

I worked with a chap who reffed Sunday League and once he sent some spectators off.They were causing so much trouble he threatened to abandon the match if they didn't bugger off.Luckily for him they did.

AvatarBCG Supporter

A Horseradish

  • Friday 11th December 2020, 12:47am [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,649 posts

Yes, I think here the pertinent point is when M'Tume wrote:

"You know very well what you are, you're my sugar thing, my chocolate star, I've had a few but not that many, but you're the only love that gives me good and plenty, juicy Fruit (juicy), juicy (yeah-ah-ah), juicy fruit, juicy"

Well, let's be frank. It was all right for its time but it doesn't solve the problem that is VAR does it. Athough anyone on their knees is sort of more in line with them, even if gooseberry bushes obviously grow to the top of goal posts. That's how babies are born. They drop with a bit of blood down into the knitted jumpers. The ones that your Mum told you to wear rather than getting freezing cold in silly muddy kit and going off to get a daft tattoo. Yes, that's right, just because your mates said you should, whatever its impact on your future potential.

AvatarBCG Supporter

A Horseradish

  • Saturday 12th December 2020, 8:02pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 7,649 posts

Where you can find the following?

Boots that are not boots because they don't go up the legs
A whistle and a pitch although the two are entirely separate
Shorts that are not short, say, compared with those of the 1970s
People who kick, run, catch, trip and even walk but never ride

Jerseys that are worn on an island but not in this case on the island of Jersey
Stands where people have to sit even during squeaky bum time
The phenomenon of getting pins and needles but never just the needles
Socks that can either be on the feet or directly aimed at the gob

Taking the knee though actually no knees are ever taken
Two nets though neither are for fishing in fresh water
Tackles which have nothing to do with fishing or the genitalia
And as with anywhere a referee who is always a wanker

Yes, that's right........you are on the Isle of Wight.