I read the news today oh boy! Page 519

Quote: sootyj @ August 24 2011, 7:32 PM BST

Most truly religious people are rather quiet about their faiths.

That's a bit of a generalisation isn't it? But I guess the word truly covers it.

Not really God talks me on Twitter.

All his truths can be revealed in a 140 characters.

By the way Marc he doesn't like your thrillers he wants you to write a BBQ cookbook.

Tell him I am on the case. BLOOD PUDDING!

A kosher BBQ cook book

Blood does not work.

Quote: youngian @ August 24 2011, 6:33 PM BST

Good to see they're enterprising over Jesus's nihilistic punk destruction

You have it the wrong way around. Jesus had the positive revolt, the revolt against the moneylenders, because they were moneylenders. These rioters revolted against the system by simply stealing its consumerist products for themselves.

The "funniest joke" from this year's fringe:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-14646532

"I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

I'm not saying Nick Helm didn't write it, but if you Google for:

blonde joke password characters

you're going to find a few versions that have been doing the rounds on the internet for a couple years at least.

Bah I should have go I could have done better than that.

What solves crime and gambles on 25th December?

A Christmas cracker!

Still think Tim Vine's was better.

Quote: KLRiley @ August 25 2011, 10:37 AM BST

Still think Tim Vine's was better.

That's been mentioned on here before but started 'Breaking wind in a lift . . . '

Liked the Cure joke, although some goth is going to tell me that's really ancient.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ August 25 2011, 10:01 AM BST

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-14646532

"My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."

Surely there must have been some context in that originally to make it funny? We can't guess that the mother was talking about fellatio until after the punchline. I assumed she was actually talking about food in the first line.

I didn't.

The winner was funny, but Millicans stank, simple as!

Oh, feckin' joy !

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/aug/25/alex-ferguson-lifts-bbc-ban

Rolling eyes

Quote: Nat Wicks @ August 25 2011, 1:15 PM BST

I didn't.

OK, well I suppose it depends on whether you've had more cocks than chips in your mouth.