Nigel Ball's girlfriend is called Loobey.

That's not her real name, but rather a nickname she acquired after spending time with those sailors on leave.

Big Jack's penis is the body double for Tom Cruise.

Roscoff is an anagram of fun.

Big Jack thinks that a giga-byte is a kiss from a sweaty, bearded roadie.

Nigel Ball is Paul Potts hippocampus.

Will cam uses his "dentate gyrus" to make sure he never forgets me. EVER!

Will Cam is sane

Nigel Ball is Zoe Ball's identical twin (they are both girls)

will cam just phoned and told me,he's got a job at the bakery and
they are going to be stamping his face in to the dough to make penis shaped biscuits.

Nigel Ball has a vast collection of verrucas. He keeps them in individual plastic wraps and each one is labelled with the exact location where he bit them off the feet of a passer by.

I had 3 settings on my Hoover twin-tub washing machine before Big Jack borrowed it to wash his girlfriend's sanitary towels. Now I only have two (Tampax and bloodspunk).

Will Cam took his Pussy cat out to sea in a beautiful pea green boat.
And then drowned the little bugger when he got bored.

He took Steve Sunshine and plenty of honey wrapped up in a 5 pound goat.

Will Cam wrote the evergreen hit 'Puppy Love' for Donny Osmond but lost the rights to the hit when he ran over Jimmy Osmond with a steam-roller thus coining his new name 'Little' Jimmy Osmond.

roscoff tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes got stuck up his nose.