Since when had Father Ted been resurrected to judge a sitcom competition?!

on mine when on here, it says...right at the top left.....File, Edit, History, Bookmarks, Yahoo, Tools, Help

Quote: bushbaby @ March 16 2011, 6:45 PM GMT

Are you kidding bighead?
If not you bring up your document....go to 'edit' at the top of screen, click on 'select all' and it 'blues' it all. go back to 'edit' and click 'copy' then come on here in critique, do post message, click on the message page, then go to 'edit' and click 'paste' and voila, your script is on here

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No I'm not kidding, I am that stupid, maybe they knew. Thanks for the advice, I have now posted it on critique.

I'm going with 3pm.

Is there any good money on it not making 100?

Quote: Dicksplash @ March 16 2011, 9:39 PM GMT

Is there any good money on it not making 100?

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When it gets to the bottom of Page 99, you're gonna delete all your old posts, aren't you?!

I just bit the bullet and copy-pasted my entry for sitcom mission under Critique.

Thus, let the critique commence... and thanks in advance for honest and painful yet invigorating feedback. I hope to be needing no coffee today.

Quote: darius @ March 16 2011, 11:32 PM GMT

I just bit the bullet and copy-pasted my entry for sitcom mission under Critique.

Thus, let the critique commence... and thanks in advance for honest and painful yet invigorating feedback. I hope to be needing no coffee today.

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Well done Neo you just swallowed the red pill, open your mind and get ready to start the journey.

Quote: the word girl @ March 16 2011, 1:15 PM GMT

Hi Marc...I didn't actually say people aren't looking for reasons to reject scripts... maybe some are? (Personally, I always hoped to be dazzled, but maybe that's just my sunny disposition.) I do think there are ways, as a writer, that you can minimise the chances of that rejection happening though, other than the standard polishing. You can have a great script, for example, but perhaps it's not right for a particular competition. I certainly know a lot of things I did wrong with this competition approach/ script that I'll learn from, and improve on next time. I worked in factual/ documentaries for BBC and ITV, so never had to deal with a slush pile as such. But I did get my fiction novel picked up through a slush pile approach, so it does happen. Not often, but it does.

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My first post - congratulations to everyone who went through, commiserations to those, like myself who didn't, and well done to Simon and Declan for ploughing through all the scripts!

I went on one of the workshops and got a positive response and useful feedback, from which I re-wrote my script several times. But on the final submission day Vodafone was down so I went to the pub to use the wifi - and sent the wrong version. (a really crap ending). I'll never know if my final could have been a contender!?

By the way, I totally agree that some scripts might not be right for particular competitions. Still believe my show is a contender. Anyone have suggestions for other avenues to submit it through? ie: companies who are seeking female-lead comedies?

Quote: Derry Dee @ March 16 2011, 7:16 PM GMT

2009.

Gary Barlow, Fearne Cotton, Ben Shepherd, and a mountain.

Hilarity ensued.

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Was that Sir Edmund Hilarity?

Half hour to go for me to win the bet- thought the outlook is not good, I'm feeling lucky.

Second and last episode

I have no shame

ACT I

Scene 1

INT.OFFICE - HAT TRICK PRODUCTIONS - DAY

The HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE sits in a swivel chair, the desk in front of him has a phone on it, there is a squash racket resting against the wall behind him. SIMON and DECLAN enter carrying a pile of scripts each.

SIMON

Thanks for agreeing to see us, Mr Hat Trick Executive

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

I thought you deserved a chance to redeem yourselves, sit down. I heard you had gone into the greeting card industry?

DECLAN

Well, we had some talks with the company and it was all going well when.....

DECLANS voice begins to trail off. A harp begins playing dream sequence transition music.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Security!

The music stops suddenly. There are sounds of a commotion off stage and a harp being smashed. DECLAN snaps out of his trance.

DECLAN

Sorry.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Listen! Any shenanigans and you're out of the door, understood?

SIMON

We understand, don't we?

DECLAN

Absolutely

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

What have you got for me then?

DECLAN

These are the thirty two bestest new scripts in Sitcom land right now.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

I'm listening

SIMON

This is Protocol. A witty observation on modern spy thrillers.

DECLAN

You'll love this

SIMON

Interior. Office. Day. Two former agents sit in an office, suddenly a phone rings.

Suddenly. The HAT TRICK EXECUTIVES phone rings.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

(wearily)

Hello. Yes they are. Right!

The HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE presses a button on his phone switching it to loudspeaker. THE PRESIDENT is on the other end of the phone. Fast paced dramatic music plays in the background.

THE PRESIDENT

Agents Wright and Hill, this is the President.

DECLAN

Mr President?

THE PRESIDENT

Listen gentlemen, we don't have much time. Military intelligence services found a script during a raid on a terrorist training camp. I need your eyes to determine if this script is a credible threat to national security.

SIMON

Damn it, Mr President! We love our country but we've been out of the field for too long.

THE PRESIDENT

It has to be you! I'm provisionally reinstating you. Again! The warehouse is seven kilometres east of your current location. It'll take you four minutes to get there but nineteen to get back. May god.....

The HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE pulls the phone cord out of the wall. The music stops suddenly.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

I knew this was a mistake

SIMON

Maybe if we just read the synopsis for the script, that can't hurt.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Okay, but be warned you are standing on unbelievably thin ice.

DECLAN

Let's see....Trace. A spoof CSI style detective comedy.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Go on.

DECLAN

Set inside a high tech, er (scribbles) low tech crime lab. Detectives use an array of increasingly technical and outlandish methods to analyse murder scenes. Methods vary from Alien laser scanners to, er Robot dogs.

DECLAN puts the script to one side and looks apologetically at the HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Next!

SIMON

Ambulance Chasers

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

That better not be a literal title.

SIMON

It's okay. It's a hilarious romp of legal incompetence and court based comedy.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

This is more like it

SIMON

Follow the exploits of Royston Legal as they bungle the claims of their injury prone clients. The clients stories are retold through exaggerated flashbacks shot in black and whiteand accompanied by dread ridden music.

The HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE puts his head in his hands

SIMON

Starring the bloke who played Don Beech in The Bill

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Right, you've wasted enough of my time!

DECLAN

I've got it! You'll absolutely love this one, I promise.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

I must be mad!

DECLAN

Inhuman Resources. Carol, HR manager of a busy intergalactic spaceport, has to manage the day to day disputes of the 20,000 staff featuring 300 different alien species at the newly opened Nebula B terminal 5.

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Are you taking the piss out of me?

SIMON

He's not, it's brilliant. It's got conflict, humour, drama, forbidden love, you name it!

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

300 different alien species? Did you see the sign on the door? Does it say James Cameron?

DECLAn

Well no, but...

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

I tell you what, I'll just phone up Peter Jackson shall I? See if WETA can squeeze us in.

SIMON

There's no need to be sarcastic

HAT TRICK EXECUTIVE

Just get out!

Scene II

Ext. Street Day

Simon and Declan are stood outside the Hat Trick Productions offices.

SIMON

That went well

DECLAN

Are you going to phone him?

SIMON

I guess I'll have to

SIMON puts his phone to his ear. We hear the phone ringing and SEAN answers.

Sean

Simon? How did it go?

SIMON

Not good, mate. He turned it down.

SEAN

Which one?

SIMON

All 32

SEAN

But... I thought you said you'd help me. You promised

SIMON

That's just the way it goes, mate. We're just as disappointed, we thought we had a good relationship with these guys

F/X

Sound of a gun cocking on the other end of the phone

SIMON

Sean? Is that a gun? Sean don't do anything stupid, please. It's not that bad, mate.

SEAN

I'm finished and it's all your fault.

SIMON

Come on, mate. Think about your wife and kids.

Sean

It's too late. Goodbye, Declan.

The phone goes dead

Simon

Declan?

A red dot appears on DECLANS chest. SIMON notices it.

SIMON

No!

A shot rings out and Declan collapses to the floor

SIMON

Medic!

(to be continued.......)

Ignore the last bit

I'm another (definitely non-guru) shortlisted entrant.

I was at university for ages but not on a creative writing course. I'm an online editor by trade. I've always written constantly but never thought that there was any point in even trying to submit anything. I was always far too embarrassed to even admit to myself that I wanted to write comedy. It felt arrogant. And was surely something that confident people do.

I then got to know someone who started to get stuff on telly, and an agent. He nicked some of my ideas. And fair enough, cos I wasn't going to do anything with them was I? He wasn't even that funny - he just kept trying.

So I thought...sod this. Perhaps it is worth having a go. Yes, I'm not ashamed to say it: I went to a workshop. There! It was nerve-wracking. I was delighted when people laughed at bits I didn't think were any good, and confused and irritated when nobody laughed at all at the bits I thought were my script's saving grace. Best thing of all though was the advice and encouragement. Proper, constructive, helpful advice. It really made me think that there WAS a point in trying, so I entered last year and got through to the finals and also this year. And that's it really.

Sean, you are taking this so well. There are flashes in this of stuff that could go places. Not sure if its into sitcom land but the spoof agents thing. Loved it. Find yourself a sketch outlet and that could develop into something.

Ennie, just out of curiosity, whose workshop?