Quote: Beelzebozo @ February 6 2010, 5:30 PM GMTReally? that's good to know, cheers. Did they also record a 'look at my opinions and agree' sketch?
No.
Newsjack Quickie Failures Page 16
They probably didn't receive any good enough...
An embarrassment of riches in this week's quickies at least vindicates my decision to opt out. The bar seems to have been raised and posters without killer gags are now in the minority. Enjoyable reading but a worrying development. 
Hi,
Thought I'd post some of my vox pops/corrections, as had no joy yet and would love some feedback...
VOX POPS
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I'm glad the UK is going to ship iron to Haiti. Whenever I see pictures of the survivors on telly, they always look really scruffy.
I think it is outrageous that David Cameron has had his campaign-posters air-brushed. Now if they were toilet-brushed…
Research says that women are slower at getting jokes? I don't think that's true. Although I must admit I don't get any of the jokes in that new sitcom 'The Persuasionists'. There again, I don't think there are any.
I was thinking that if Tesco's are gonna start making films, they should change their slogan 'Every little helps' to 'As Good as It Gets.'
So another study's found pregnant women can help their babies gain weight by playing Mozart. No wonder mine were small. I played them Beethoven.
I hear Channel 4 want a man or woman to donate their body for a TV series about mummification. Sounds like the perfect new job for Jonathon Ross.
So all our money's gone to Iceland. I think it's really fishy they're refusing to pay back the money lost when their banks collapsed in 2008. I refuse to go there now. Even if their Chocolate Gateau is delicious.
Despite its troubles, I'm moving to Egypt. They're the only country sensible enough to deport George Galloway.
I think Nick Clegg is absolutely right comparing Gina Ford's childcare methods to an Ikea manual. They are both hard to follow and full of the wrong tack.
'Course I give my child a healthy lunchbox. Today I put in a protein-rich wholemeal sandwich, a satsuma and the iron.
CORRECTIONS
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Prince Harry was complaining because his hair was ginger in the new portrait of him and William and not, as we reported last week, because he was third in line to the throne and so would never be King.
Newsjack would like to apologise for our report on Gordon Ramsey last week. His restaurant lost its Michelin star due the food and service and not because he told them to "**** off out of my kitchen."
We would like to apologise for incorrectly reporting last week the name of Zoe Ball and Norman Cooks' new baby. They named their son Woody after a character in Toy Story and not their baby girl. Therefore it is not Little Bo Peep.
Thanks.
Quote: Niki256 @ February 7 2010, 6:12 PM GMTI'm glad the UK is going to ship iron to Haiti. Whenever I see pictures of the survivors on telly, they always look really scruffy.
Research says that women are slower at getting jokes? I don't think that's true. Although I must admit I don't get any of the jokes in that new sitcom 'The Persuasionists'. There again, I don't think there are any.
I like the first one's idea but feel it needs a rewording somehow. It just doesn't do it snappily enough.
Second one should be:
WOMAN:
Women are slower at getting jokes? Well, I certainly didn't get any in that new sitcom The Persuasionists.
Dan
Just sent two sketches off this week and four vox pops. I doubt that any of them will make it into the show though. But having read some of the rejected vox pops on this forum, it's quite comforting to know that a lot of good ones don't make the show and so there is no shame in my one's not making it either.
SOME VOXPOPS I SENT A FEW WEEKS BACK> ANY CRITICISM?COMMENT WOULD BE WELCOME 
:
Well Meaning Lady from Brighton: We shouldn't really judge Somalis, just because some of them are pirates. There must be a few pirates in the UK. Especially in the West Country.
Old Northern Lady: Oh yes. The BNP man was knocked at the door was very nice. He even wiped his feet – all over a letter from our Sudanese orphan.
Disgruntled Old Lady 2: My husband never wants sex since doing this brain training, Now, he's the one who's got a headache.
Woman talking about chimps on Natural World: I can't believe they let those animals behind the camera. All the males playing "who's got the biggest penis?" That's the last time I watch Merlin.
Old Doctor: The odd pill mix up and mis-amputation aside, I'm sure I could go on working past 65. I think he' still breathing, have you got your watch just in case?
South London Boy:
Davey C , jus' Call Me
Get to No. 10, ta get the Brownie…
Points. Election time's gonna be scary
Free hugs is halfway ta poppin ya cherry.
Fey middle-aged man: I would love to join the U.N. But my passport's run out. Any landslides in Gillingham this time of year?
Enquiry Man: This man who judged public opinion so badly. This man too cowardly to withdraw his support. Thank God we voted Jedward off.
Helmut: I'm not surprised kids today get rickets, as I said to my captive daughter only yesterday.
Cockney with mouthful: Eels disappearin' from the Thames? Don't know what your talking about Guv'. Wriggled orf the back of a lorry.
Woman with kids: Now the snow's gone, me and the kids can finally get out t' house. (Calling) Don't eat your father all at once now! Dad's gone to Iceland.
THEN I SENT THIS LOT WHICH I THINK WE@RE IN THE VEIN> NOT SURE ON QUALITY THOUGH:
Birdman of Wormwood Scrubs: Yeah, that's a page three on my wall. The Independent's article on great tits has been most…instructive.
Proud Tory supporter: I'm glad I will finally be able to defend my property when Cameron gets into power. In fact all 7 of them.
Ignorant teenager: Pope Benedict? Is he like in the Sopranos or somethin'? Some bunch of Italian criminals anyway.
Bragging Woman: I've slept with that John Terry and Tiger Woods! If you want to know which one's best, you better pay for my boob job.
Ungrateful Man: When my wife said she was just getting me an apple for my birthday, I left her. Who needs an I-Pad anyway!
London Policeman: With no Ian Blair and BoJo leaving, the Met can get on and solve crimes at last – like who scuffed up my riot shield
Trevor M dressed as robocop is great 
but maybe just a bit too radical
Quote: swerytd @ February 5 2010, 12:00 PM GMTThis is a brilliant idea, and I can't believe something along these lines didn't get in. I don't think this is the right *thing* but I reckon with a bit of work, it could be fantastic.
NEWSBULLET:Like Trevor MacDonald… dressed as Robocop!
Dan
I look forward to reading this weeks rejects. Lord knows most of them are funnier than what's broadcasted.
Quote: funnyfnarr @ February 9 2010, 8:21 AM GMTI look forward to reading this weeks rejects. Lord knows most of them are funnier than what's broadcasted.
As someone who has contributed his fair share of rejects I am not sure I agree with this.
Quote: Timbo @ February 9 2010, 9:51 AM GMTAs someone who has contributed his fair share of rejects I am not sure I agree with this.
I cannot argue with that 
Inall seriousness I think this was a lottery and if it was something that was broadcast indefinatly I would play every week. As I've said before there was a positive outcome and that is I have started to write more often and to deadlines.
I think given I've not heard anything today from Newsjack then that means I have yet to get anything onto BBC radio. Annoying.
I really thought some of my vox pops stood a chance this week (although I've pretty much given up trying to get a sketch onto it because from what I've heard very, very few uncommissioned writers get full sketches onto it.
Quote: Indiana Jim @ February 10 2010, 9:04 PM GMTI think given I've not heard anything today from Newsjack then that means I have yet to get anything onto BBC radio. Annoying.
We normally find out on Thursday afternoon whether we were recorded. Evening, we find out if we're in the edit.
Quote: Kevin Murphy @ February 10 2010, 9:26 PM GMTWe normally find out on Thursday afternoon whether we were recorded. Evening, we find out if we're in the edit.
Really? I thought people got an email on late on Wednesday afternoon telling them whether they were being recorded and then another email on Thursday telling them if they have made the show.
But I have no idea, since I've never got anything on to the Newsjack or even heard anything back from them (one of the reasons I liked "Watsons's Wind Up" was the Philip Differ was really good about given people feedback and just generally making you feel like it was worthwhile, even when you were rejected).
Nope - you won't find out till today.