Quote: Mikey Jackson @ November 5 2009, 12:24 AM GMT

For the 2010 remake, the white bloke would need to be the father of a soldier who had been maimed in Iraq.

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--- and subsequently exposed as a transvestite - maimed and shamed.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ November 5 2009, 12:24 AM GMT

In the pilot episode, the white bloke mistakes a clock ticking in his neighbour's suitcase for something rather more sinister...

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... Sootyj with a time bomb up his arse. He farts and gets blown to pieces.....with hilarious consequences. Time-bombing; the secret of good comedy.

And sootyj gets hanged for treason.
Not the offence, the show.

Love Thy Neigh- bour

A man in his forties in the midst of a mid life crisis, sexually interferes with the horse next door on a suburban estate somewhere in Ascot.

I'd go with Love Thy Man Who Sold The World.

Chris Davis is an estate agent. When an exchange of contracts goes horribly wrong, he gets shot in the head and wakes up in 1974. Is he mad? In negative equity? Or back in time? If he can just prove to his old school but ultimately kind-hearted boss that modern methods are better and convince his racist client that having a black neighbour won't destroy his property prices, maybe he can get back home...

Quote: Wildjesusfishkid @ November 5 2009, 10:23 AM GMT

Love Thy Neigh- bour

A man in his forties in the midst of a mid life crisis, sexually interferes with the horse next door on a suburban estate somewhere in Ascot.

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Or a traveller family with a horse settle down in a council house next to some chavs who think they're better. Cue hilarious consquences involving 'borrowing' a lawnmower.

What they could do is revive the original cast - Patrick Truman from EastEnders (hasn't aged too badly and bet he would welcome the role again) where he moves into somewhere and the next door neighbour happens to be a nastier offspring of the white bloke he was once always at odds with?

Yep, they could make it Eddie's grandson, who just so happens to be a member of the BNP, with underground links to Eastern European neo-Nazi groups.

Yes, and as he's now too old to care about trying to build bridges the show could be simply named "Love Thyself"

Repatriate Thy Neighbour

Ah but that would only be voluntary under BNP policy

OK, Repatriate Thy Neighbour (Under The Auspices Of A Re-locative Fiscal Compensation Scheme)

Better?

Might make the theme tune tricky, but...

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 16 2009, 12:07 AM GMT

Repatriate Thy Neighbour

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Maybe I'd put Nicholas Lyndhurst in it?

Or Martin Clunes? Both Lyndhurst and Clunes are so well loved by the general public that they could get away with some cross-burning and lynchings I reckon.

Quote: Tim Walker @ November 16 2009, 12:51 AM GMT

Or Martin Clunes? Both Lyndhurst and Clunes are so well loved by the general public that they could get away with some cross-burning and lynchings I reckon.

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You make it sound like the general public would ordinarily have a problem with cross burning and lynchings.