I was at a wedding recently & I have to admit, I just love watching peeps dance, You are always guaranteed free hysterics. These are a few different type of dancer’s.
1. The (I am sooooo sexy damn it) Always a woman in a short skirt, hands in her hair trying way to hard to look like a porn star on a filth shoot. It has the same dance for all songs, circling it’s hips in the shape of a bell end.
2. Mr Medallion. The guy is in his 50’s atleast, fake tan, just for men hair, long at the back, bold on Top, scraped over the patch of potato hairs that is his frontal lobe. Hairy chest, flicky flared troosers and an open at the top creased pink shirt. Lots of gold, (yey baby real gold plated baby, I said real god damn gold plaaaa aaaa ted).He shakes one leg like Elvis and the other is doing a Mr Bean.
3. Great Gran & Grandad. Old as hell Dodging their wooden pits. Part crippled, doing the rock & roll to the Killers. Great big leery cheesy grins on their faces. Looking like an extra from Micheal J’s Thriller. (Lets show the young un’s Edna). Yep show them up.
4. Mr. 80’s. You know him. The guy from the madness era. Shirt collars pointing up skyward,body as Stiff as a dead penis, shoulders moving up and down like some sort of twitching shrug. Bringing their knees up in time. Moshing like a demented pogo stick on crack.
5. The (I may be f**koff fat with a face like a puffa fish but my husband still loves me so all men must). Wobbling like a milky blancmange her 4 chins wacking fellow dancers to the floor. Her arse blocking the disco lights. Turning the floor beneath her into a quaking revolving mass of unconscious peeps.
6. The lambada couple. Yes they have gone to evening classes. Yes they can dance. BUT stimulating sex to an age range from 2 months to 95 years aint pretty. They rub & thrust together eventualy come and finaly get off the floor, leaving a puddle of goo to make way for my final dancer.
8. My Gran. She doesn’t dance but she hates to miss out. So she will stand in the middle of the dance floor, feet about 3 feet apart, rigid legs holding her catheter bag in her left hand and wagging her index finger from the other in time to the mooooosic. Occasionaly she will swap that finger for the middle one, turn it around and stick it up in the air towards the DJ, who is pissing
himself laughing.
Right any more for any more?
