Am writin a Diree for ma self.It aabout makin money an new inven-shons from de scap in de back garden. It high now an weeds at de top wit de birds flyin round.

Am no-one specal like - a jus a person who like writin for fun.
Ma firs invensh-on was about seaguls in a bag calld seaguls in a bag inven-shon.
A got de bags fro de one poun shop - day were jus one poun.
A stayd up all night watchin de seaguls at de beach an had de lastic
bands ready but day were jus de wrong size an even de dis-abled seagul wit de
one leg got away.

a bin stayin wit ma sister she good woman an cooks a lot, she keepin dem plants alive well in de basemen and waters dem fo ma nephu, he away right now. Ma sister say he visitin de Queen of Englan an he be back soon.

Better stp now, but if you would like to help wit me diree please let me know.

This should perhaps be in the critique section Mr 1

If so, you can add this - I'd tone down the accent, it just makes it hard to read - you can still add little flourishes here and there though. I enjoyed calling your first invention about seaguls in bag, 'seaguls in a bag invention'.

Quote: Inky1 @ 23rd September 2014, 1:57 PM BST

Am writin a Diree for ma self.It aabout makin money an new inven-shons from de scap in de back garden. It high now an weeds at de top wit de birds flyin round.

Am no-one specal like - a jus a person who like writin for fun.
Ma firs invensh-on was about seaguls in a bag calld seaguls in a bag inven-shon.
A got de bags fro de one poun shop - day were jus one poun.
A stayd up all night watchin de seaguls at de beach an had de lastic
bands ready but day were jus de wrong size an even de dis-abled seagul wit de
one leg got away.

a bin stayin wit ma sister she good woman an cooks a lot, she keepin dem plants alive well in de basemen and waters dem fo ma nephu, he away right now. Ma sister say he visitin de Queen of Englan an he be back soon.

Better stp now, but if you would like to help wit me diree please let me know.

View original

I like it.

Is it Mighty Sparrow?

I like it just as it is.

I like it very much.

I especially like "Ma sister say he visitin de Queen of Englan an he be back soon.'

As soon as I read that line, I loved it to pieces and I said I little prayer, asking that you weren't going to explain it.

And you didn't.

(Thank you, God).

P.S. Your posting is either a very fortunate shot in the dark that makes you look a lot better at writing comedy than you are . . . or you're a bloody good comedy writer.

Quote: Mikey88 @ 23rd September 2014, 3:10 PM BST

This should perhaps be in the critique section Mr 1

If so, you can add this - I'd tone down the accent, it just makes it hard to read - you can still add little flourishes here and there though. I enjoyed calling your first invention about seaguls in bag, 'seaguls in a bag invention'.

View original

Have you tried reading Oor Willie or Wee MacGreegor, Mikey? It was a British language he was speaking, so we may be on dangerous ground here...

Quote: Inky1 @ 23rd September 2014, 1:57 PM BST

Ma firs invensh-on was about seaguls in a bag calld seaguls in a bag inven-shon.

View original

This is the funniest thing I have seen today.

Benjamin Zephanaiah would be proud of you! Very funny - and nice and short. Are we getting another episode?

I hope you don't mind Inky but I thought it would be fun to translate it - for some of the more ... older people on this forum.

I am writing a diary for myself. It is about making money and my new inventions. I find bits and bobs and more importantly, inspiration in my back garden. Hoo hoo, I have quite the collection there now. It's stacked high.

I'm not an important person; I'm just a person who likes writing. It's fun for me.

My first invention was about seagulls in a bag. It's called the 'Seaguls in a bag invention'.

I got the bags from the Pound Shop. They cost one pound.

I stayed up all night watching the seagulls. At the beach it was. I had my elastic bands ready but they were the wrong size. Even the disabled seagull, with one leg, got away.

I've been staying with my sister. She's a good woman; she cooks a lot, she looks after the plants in the basement. They're my nephews. He's away right now. My sister said he's visiting the Queen of England and he'll be back soon.

I better stop now, but if you would like to help me with my diary, please let me know.

Are you all taking the piss?

Quote: Mikey88 @ 23rd September 2014, 9:29 PM BST

I hope you don't mind Inky but I thought it would be fun to translate it - for some of the more ... older people on this forum.

View original

So older people don't understand accents? Is that why they tend to be more racist...?

If creative writing is all about painting a picture in the readers mind, then this scored very high.

I loved the one legged seagull that got away.

Quote: Inky1 @ 23rd September 2014, 1:57 PM BST

Am writin a Diree for ma self.It aabout makin money an new inven-shons from de scap in de back garden. It high now an weeds at de top wit de birds flyin round.

Am no-one specal like - a jus a person who like writin for fun.
Ma firs invensh-on was about seaguls in a bag calld seaguls in a bag inven-shon.
A got de bags fro de one poun shop - day were jus one poun.
A stayd up all night watchin de seaguls at de beach an had de lastic
bands ready but day were jus de wrong size an even de dis-abled seagul wit de
one leg got away.

a bin stayin wit ma sister she good woman an cooks a lot, she keepin dem plants alive well in de basemen and waters dem fo ma nephu, he away right now. Ma sister say he visitin de Queen of Englan an he be back soon.

Better stp now, but if you would like to help wit me diree please let me know.

View original

This is genius, poetic and funny

I must be on a different planet.

Its all about the pace, the characterisation and the mental leaps to make the translations

You is on Planet Normal, Chappers. We am on de Planet Groovy Baby, wid dem psychydellic rings.