Quote: keewik @ 7th April 2015, 10:51 PM BST

Advice to Horseradish:
(1) Assistants who tell you to use self-service - tell them to f**k off.
(2) Mormons - tell them to f**k off.
(3) Anybody who tries to tell you what to do - tell them to f**k off.
P.S. self-service tills are the work of Satan.

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Thank you keewik. That is very good of you.

My insights are such that they have been known to leave people feeling like they have been run over by a steamroller and running to down a massive jug of whiskey. Unfortunately, the gap between my comprehension and application is the distance of Ballindalloch to Beijing. It is exasperating for us all.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 7th April 2015, 10:40 PM BST

Think the Mormons were a bit taken aback by the way I gave them a lesson in American history last time and are somehow hoping to regain the initiative. But they will be walking into a room full of CDs and I have already made some preparations for my sermon on music and spirituality. I am expecting them to be able to cope with Van Morrison and the Waterboys but if time is moving on I will lull them into a false sense of security with "Morning of Our Lives" and then race into a blast of "Roadrunner".

nb. My therapist is in a marriage with two women - not one - but you probably guessed that anyway.

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Do you ever yearn for a normal life.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 8th April 2015, 8:34 AM BST

Do you ever yearn for a normal life.

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I wonder what the definition of a normal life is according to BCG members.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 8th April 2015, 8:34 AM BST

Do you ever yearn for a normal life.

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I used to have a boss who said that people could be divided into two categories. Those who when asked travel directions by a stranger referred mainly to pubs and those who in the same situation referred mainly to churches. It was obviously a dig at us, his staff, at the time. We knew pubs. He knew the churches. But in a similar way, normal is about the people you know in a neighbourhood.

You say that's Fred's house over there - he was a GP until he retired to take up stamp collecting - and that's dear old Joan standing in her garden. Doesn't it look lovely with the cherry blossom now. It's the framework for living most people enjoy. Whereas for me it's that is the guy on the bus who managed to sell me a CD of his weird paintings of naked women and stoats and there is the woman who hands out leaflets proposing a ban on monogamy. It isn't me. It's them and it always has been.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 7th April 2015, 10:15 PM BST

Was told today in Tesco to use the self-service till. This flustered me as I don't know how to use them and they take away people's jobs. Put two items in and realised I needed advice about how to use my club card there. By the time the woman arrived, I'd lost my bank card. Had to leave the items in the shop and went back to my alternative therapist. No card there. Then back to a shop I had been to earlier. No card there. Got home and tried to ring the bus garage. No answer. Rang the bank to arrange for the card to be blocked. Went to bed in a huff. Got up and looked at the jacket I had left on the floor. The unusable card was on top of it. Weird. I checked the pockets over a dozen times.

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That's old age for you. And unless there were NO staffed checkouts I'd have told them I'll wait - or do as you did and leave the stuff there in the middle of the shop.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 7th April 2015, 10:24 PM BST

I'd When I said "yes" - I don't know how to say "no" - they said "awesome".

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Can you put £500 into my account.

Quote: Chappers @ 8th April 2015, 1:30 PM BST

That's old age for you. And unless there were NO staffed checkouts I'd have told them I'll wait - or do as you did and leave the stuff there in the middle of the shop.

Can you put £500 into my account.

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On 1, yes. Re 2, unfortunately I can't access any money until the new card arrives. I'm desk bound.

Ben has got tomatoes cooking in various ways and methods in order to make an amazing sauce and maybe some soup too.

Being facebook friends with Ben is like having the Ben +1 service.

Hopes my eyesight is failing and the three people I took for 12/13 year olds as I passed them on the way home are infact very youthful looking and sounding grown-ups....seems just a tad late for such young people to be wandering the streets.
Never had kids though so what would I know?

They were probably trainee burglars.

Quote: Ben @ 8th April 2015, 8:17 PM BST

Ben has got tomatoes cooking in various ways and methods in order to make an amazing sauce and maybe some soup too.

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If I change the subject back to My Favourite Sauce would you move that to the Just a Minute thread?

It is faultless, you would score a point, and go into the lead.

Quote: reds @ 9th April 2015, 12:19 AM BST

Hopes my eyesight is failing and the three people I took for 12/13 year olds as I passed them on the way home are infact very youthful looking and sounding grown-ups....seems just a tad late for such young people to be wandering the streets.
Never had kids though so what would I know?

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This is chavvy England.

Lee attended a life drawing class this evening but the model didn't show up so we ended up drawing the museums security guard :/ Wasn't quite what I had expected but was still fun.

Who was guarding the museum whilst you were painting?

Or was this part of some elaborate robbery plot?

Quote: Lee @ 9th April 2015, 10:21 PM BST

Lee attended a life drawing class this evening but the model didn't show up so we ended up drawing the museums security guard :/ Wasn't quite what I had expected but was still fun.

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Did he take his clothes off?