Give us a northern chat up line.

Quote: Will Cam @ February 14 2012, 9:41 PM GMT

I'll be banging on you in a minute

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Ooh you're so fookin romantic.

Quote: Will Cam @ February 14 2012, 9:41 PM GMT

I'll be banging on you in a minute

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Pirate Face!!

Bah! Have been offline for the last 24 hours thanks to Virgin Media cancelling all of their services in Westminster and not bothering to tell me. Am wi-fi'ed up at the moment and will be joining the ranks of BT next Tuesday.

I thought it had been quiet.

I have decided to move from my longstanding pro-smiley position. I'm at an age now where it no longer seems appropriate.

Quote: zooo @ February 15 2012, 2:17 PM GMT

I thought it had been quiet.

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Yes, it is rather dull without me.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ February 15 2012, 2:08 PM GMT

Bah! Have been offline for the last 24 hours thanks to Virgin Media cancelling all of their services in Westminster and not bothering to tell me. Am wi-fi'ed up at the moment and will be joining the ranks of BT next Tuesday.

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You've been gone?

Carpark's found a like-minded "girlfriend", who likes to go on top..

..but that's another storey.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ February 15 2012, 2:38 PM GMT

He's found a like-minded "girlfriend", who likes to go on top..

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*resists urge to wheel out impressive list of 'Your Mum' jokes*

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ February 12 2012, 10:38 PM GMT

I feel just like a handful of sesame seeds..

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Quote: Stylee TingTing @ February 12 2012, 10:49 PM GMT

Knock the sesame seeds one back, RC..

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One of these days I'm going to ask you why you keep writing about sesame seeds.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ February 15 2012, 2:59 PM GMT

One of these days I'm going to ask you why you keep writing about sesame seeds.

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Well. I was on a roll at the time..

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ February 15 2012, 3:02 PM GMT

Well. I was on a roll at the time..

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Get out. Get out now!

Quote: roscoff @ February 15 2012, 4:41 PM GMT

Get out. Get out now!

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I've been trying to cross-breed wild and domestic poultry for ages..

..and I was pheasantly surprised this morning to find a big game bird on my..

Roscoff? I can't think of a punchline for that one.. can you help?

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ February 15 2012, 4:58 PM GMT

I've been trying to cross-breed wild and domestic poultry for ages..

..and I was pheasantly surprised this morning to find a big game bird on my..

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Cock!

And by that, I mean your penis.