Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 3rd May 2014, 12:11 AM BST

That's not a bad introduction, I've had worse. We could then have a competition to see how many pints I can down before losing my hard-on. In fact, that sounds like a great night.

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Excellent. The trainee barristers would love that. It may have a slightly unpleasant performing monkey vibe to it, but hopefully we can get over that quite quickly.

Although the way I originally phrased the introduction made it sound as if I had personal experience of your sexual difficulties. Which considering I also admit to not knowing your name, does not reflect particularly well on me as an educator and role model. So that part may require a re-think.

Quote: keewik @ 3rd May 2014, 12:14 AM BST

I can make quite a nice fruit scone (scawn) but will be happy to let you take over.

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Ace. As long as you promise me that you aren't going to secretly seethe in the corner that I "think I own the place" and have "wormed my way into the heart of this family" because I'm making the scones now.

Quote: Jennie @ 3rd May 2014, 12:19 AM BST

Although the way I originally phrased the introduction made it sound as if I had personal experience of your sexual difficulties. Which considering I also admit to not knowing your name, does not reflect particularly well on me as an educator and role model. So that part may require a re-think.

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Quote: Jennie @ 3rd May 2014, 12:19 AM BST

Excellent. The trainee barristers would love that. It may have a slightly unpleasant performing monkey vibe to it, but hopefully we can get over that quite quickly.

Although the way I originally phrased the introduction made it sound as if I had personal experience of your sexual difficulties. Which considering I also admit to not knowing your name, does not reflect particularly well on me as an educator and role model. So that part may require a re-think.

Ace. As long as you promise me that you aren't going to secretly seethe in the corner that I "think I own the place" and have "wormed my way into the heart of this family" because I'm making the scones now.

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No. I'm only too happy to let somebody else do the work.

Quote: keewik @ 2nd May 2014, 11:54 PM BST

Your mysogynistic tendencies rear their heads again. I HATE domestic chores. Don't know anybody who doesn't.

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You do now. While I don't exactly love them, I can find some pleasure in chores, like stacking the dishwasher, which is effectively a big 3D jigsaw puzzle, or hanging out washing, which involves reaching and stretching much like in yoga.

Quote: keewik @ 2nd May 2014, 11:34 PM BST

No you wouldn't. There'd be sleazy old bastards trying to see down your front.

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Oi! Less of the 'old'!!

You Tersiops, you were the one who tried to get the barmaid to tattoo the opticians test on her cleavage.

I would have the beer list printed there. In braille.

In work yesterday I offered my work college the chance to swap my apple for some of his grapes. He offered me 5 grapes in exchange for the apple and would not negotiate. As you can image I was livid, surely a pink lady apple in excellent condition is worth at least 10 grapes???

I hope you kept the apple and threw his paltry grapes in his face.

Rotten to the core.

No, I secretly ate my banana and placed the skin next to his chair in the hope that when he went to the toilet he would slip over and break his arm.

Quote: Jennie @ 2nd May 2014, 11:28 PM BST

People make life sound so complicated these days. It's not that hard. Retrain, get the experience you need and go after what you want in life.

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But if everyone had their ideal job, who would sweep the streets?

Quote: Jennie @ 2nd May 2014, 11:32 PM BST

I would like to pour wine out of a tap.

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Sorry, that position has been filled, went to a Mr Christ I believe.

Quote: Nogget @ 4th May 2014, 7:35 AM BST

But if everyone had their ideal job, who would sweep the streets?

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People whose priorities are elsewhere.

Lots of people work to live and would rather spend more time with their family/friends/hobbies/social activities than work really hard to climb the greasy ladder. That is obviously completely valid.

My point is that those who wish to get on career-wise, particularly those without dependants, can do so if they wish. It just takes a bit of imagination, a bit of bolshiness and a lot of hard work.

A neighbour of mine, single mum with three kids, has just set up the "London Bootcamp Company" and to all intents and purposes is doing really well with it.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ 4th May 2014, 10:47 AM BST

Sorry, that positions has been filled, went to a Mr Christ I believe.

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Darn it. I want to pour the wine. *stamps foot*.

Not being able to enjoy life even when things are going okay for once

Cos your just waiting for the next time fate decides to take a big shit on your head and spoil things