It's the first night of pantomime Dick Whittington at the Grand Theatre Lancaster. Lewis Loud, Morecambe FM's cheeky DJ, is preparing for his stage debut as Jack the Lad. During rehearsals, romance has blossomed between him and Dick Whittington, namely token celebrity Tamsin, better know to her fans as 'Mad Mindy The Axe Murderer' from the nation's favourite soap.

A full dress rehearsal has been called and tensions are beginning to show. Producer Di is keen for the show to be a success - it's a tough job doing regional theatre and, by taking the part of the fairy, she is anxious to realise her lofty ambitions. Director Francis tries valiantly to pull the show together in spite of Di's constant interfering.

When Lewis's son, Paul is unexpectedly delivered to the stage door by ex-wife Gina, Lewis realises he must take his fatherly duties seriously. Not easy when you're surrounded by chaos and egos, most notably faded theatrical actor Johnny Darby doing a reluctant turn as a pantomime dame, Di's nervous daughter Chantelle, the woefully miscast love interest of Dick, and a very accident prone Chesney Hawkes, desperately trying to prove he has more to his musical repertoire than The One and Only.

The dress rehearsal proves to be disastrous, but this is nothing compared to the bombshell delivered during the performance when Tamsin decides to leave at the interval. Maybe a curmudgeonly dwarf playing Tickles the cat could come to the rescue?