We asked feisty northern sketch trio Northern Power Blouse (Cassie, Kat and Charlotte) to give us five reasons why the North is better than the South. Can they convince us?
On visiting the north, the first thing you'll notice is miles and miles of unspoilt Pound Shops. But squint and you'll also see some lovely hills in the background. Why not borrow your nana's net curtain and get yourself up on the moors, the Pennines or the top of next door's shed? Wrap said curtain around your midriff and frolic around like a bona fide Bronte Sister. You'll either look like Kate Bush or a complete tit.
Did you know? Until 1995, the highest peak in the North West was Bet Lynch's beehive.
The modern day northern woman is a strong and beautiful creature. Just take a stroll down Wigan's high street of an evening, and you might be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of one of them throwing caution to the wind and having a pee on the pavement. If that's not a forward-thinking feminist sticking two fingers up to the patriarchy then we don't know what is...
Did you know? MI5's secret weapon is a northern dinner lady called Pat, who can make suspects talk with just one stern look.
It's a well-documented fact that you're only ever 6ft away from a meat and potato pie when you're up north. If you stray too far down the M1 they start forgetting to put potato in, or god forbid, they're gluten free.
Did you know? So sacred are our pies, it is customary for northerners to be buried with at least five Ginsters, like some kind of meaty Tutankhamun.
The north is known for its natural sex appeal and us lucky northern ladies have our pick of the top totty. You only have to look at Morrissey, George Formby or Alan Bennett to get a right nipple on. It must be something they put in the water.
Did you know? In 1942, the north decided to forgo the traditional water supply system and have tea piped directly through their taps.