British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 6,191

CH came on this morning - so much for "Flaming June"

China? Combed Hair? Court House? Clear Honey?....

Charles Hawtrey

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 11th June 2024, 8:21 AM

China? C**t Hair? Court House? Clear Honey?....

Stephen!! Wash your mouth out............dear oh dear, anybody would think you were ***thouse

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 7th June 2024, 5:13 PM

Shingles jab today. Number 2 of 2.

Image

Just a little prick?

Davidson outwitted by boy Scout heckler

Jim Davidson was furious after being put in his place - by a heckling boy Scout.

The 53-year-old comic was said to be seething after receiving foul-mouthed abuse from the junior punter during a packed pantomime.

Davidson, in character as Dick Whittington, asked the Kent audience: 'Do you know who I am?"

And the Scout, in full uniform, 'brought the house down' by yelling back: 'Yes, you're a f**king wanker.'

不不不不不不不不不不不不

Quote: lofthouse @ 14th June 2024, 8:42 PM

Davidson outwitted by boy Scout heckler

Jim Davidson was furious after being put in his place - by a heckling boy Scout.

The 53-year-old comic was said to be seething after receiving foul-mouthed abuse from the junior punter during a packed pantomime.

Davidson, in character as Dick Whittington, asked the Kent audience: 'Do you know who I am?"

And the Scout, in full uniform, 'brought the house down' by yelling back: 'Yes, you're a f**king wanker.'

不不不不不不不不不不不不

Cutting & pasting is one thing. Cutting & pasting news that was published 18 years ago

www.chortle.co.uk/news/2006/12/20/4843/what_a_dick!

and passing it off as current news is something else!

Do you bore people on a professional basis?

Or is it just a bit of a hobby ?

For someone who keeps complaining this is supposed to be a comedy site - you can be a right miserable old sod!

A pong started 3 days ago in the kitchen. A nasty rotting smell.
I checked the vegetable rack - all was good, under the sink and all the usual places where things can go off - nothing.
Day 2 it was getting worse. I suspected a dead rat was lurking somewhere.
Today it was overpowering and vomit-inducing, it was definitely coming from the tins cupboard.
Pulling the tins out one by one I found the culprit. A tin of Sainsbury's premium ham with a big hole in the bottom.
It had putrified and as I picked it up, the vile rotten goo dripped into the cupboard. (had to pause writing there to wretch a bit)
The hole in the bottom looked like someone had hit it with the tip of a pickaxe
Enjoy your breakfast/lunch :D

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 15th June 2024, 10:42 AM

A pong started 3 days ago in the kitchen. A nasty rotting smell.
I checked the vegetable rack - all was good, under the sink and all the usual places where things can go off - nothing.
Day 2 it was getting worse. I suspected a dead rat was lurking somewhere.
Today it was overpowering and vomit-inducing, it was definitely coming from the tins cupboard.
Pulling the tins out one by one I found the culprit. A tin of Sainsbury's premium ham with a big hole in the bottom.
It had putrified and as I picked it up, the vile rotten goo dripped into the cupboard. (had to pause writing there to wretch a bit)
The hole in the bottom looked like someone had hit it with the tip of a pickaxe
Enjoy your breakfast/lunch :D

Yeah..........I've seen you going through the cheap dented tins - that'll larn yer

Quote: lofthouse @ 14th June 2024, 10:00 PM

Do you bore people on a professional basis?

Or is it just a bit of a hobby ?

For someone who keeps complaining this is supposed to be a comedy site - you can be a right miserable old sod!

Well it does seem a bit pointless and just targeting someone you hate.

Quote: lofthouse @ 14th June 2024, 10:00 PM

Do you bore people on a professional basis?

Or is it just a bit of a hobby ?

For someone who keeps complaining this is supposed to be a comedy site - you can be a right miserable old sod!

I appreciate you'd rather you were just allowed to get away with posting any old rubbish without challenge.

Anyway - I was passing a Charity Shop in Cheam Village today (NOT East Cheam) and I saw a book in the window "The Biggest ever Tim Vine Joke Book" and it was signed by the great man himself. The inscription read "To whoever you may be (either now or in the future) Love Tim Vine. and he signed it with a kiss for me!

Face value of the book was 瞿9.99 and I got it for a tenner so the signature was worth one penny.

You lucky devil - we don't see enough of him on TV

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 17th June 2024, 11:09 PM

You lucky devil - we don't see enough of him on TV

To be fair I have seen him around a few times and in that particular charity shop once before.

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