I want fish and chips now.

Quote: Jack Massey @ September 10 2008, 6:44 PM BST

In a restraunt the other day, I said Fish and Chips twice, the Waiter said I heard you the first time.

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That is actually one of my favourite jokes of all time.

Quote: Aaron @ September 10 2008, 6:45 PM BST

I want fish and chips now.

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And that.

Haha, I've just had them for my tea. Very nice.

I really want fish and chips now.

DAMN YOU JACK MASSEY. DAMN YOU TO HELL.

*shakes fist menacingly*

haha Just heard this on 5Live and thought it apt.

What do scientists have for their tea?

Fission Chips.

Fission chips, damn it!

I was beaten upto day, some one hit me a statue of Captain Mannering in the ankle.

I thought it was a low blow.

Given spelling tips by sootyj

*changes original post*

Mainwaring*

Quote: Nil Putters @ September 10 2008, 7:08 PM BST

Given spelling tips by sootyj

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Which bees can you get milk from?

Boo-bees. Ha.

I heard someone say that on TV.

Quote: Winterlight @ September 10 2008, 5:58 PM BST

Nick The Don recently told this cracker:

Q. What type of Bees make milk?

A. Boobies!

It's genius!

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F**k, it's already on here.

Quote: Nil Putters @ September 10 2008, 7:08 PM BST

Given spelling tips by sootyj

*changes original post*

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Not a spelling correction, merely a word subsitution.

Knock Knock

F**k off I don't care whose there.

Knock Knock
Who's There
Ghost
Ghost Who
Ghost to the door to find out.

I could win an award for making terrible jokes:

I'm scared of trampolines; they make me jump

I did a degree in ballet; I got a 2:2

Coldplay's album: "A Rush Of Blod To The Head"; that's a dick head getting an erection, surely?

"Close but no cigar" That's what is said to a 17 year old who tries to buy cigarettes.

Did you hear about the man with no penis? He won the no-bell prize.

Why aren't women employed to do DIY? They might break a nail.

I have three girlfriends but i've no idea which order to shag them in. So I named them gross, tax and net. I do gross before tax and net after

I could go on but you probably stopped reading after the ballet joke.

Two snowman in a garden, one says to the other "Can you smell carrots?"

Ya Mamma's so ugly,your dad takes her to work so he don't have to kiss her goodbye

I'm feeling quite sick now, with a horrible after-taste of Fish and Chips.

Don't you have a good chippy, Jack? And those were great, Yatta.